Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums General Discussion So, IS your child a "leader"?

By which I mean--is he or she likely to hold elected office of some kind in high school? Will he or she start something "big" as a student, in which he or she must lead others?

(My answer: no. My children are actually both relatively extroverted and fairly popular, but neither of them has the tendency to lead or organize. DD hates group projects.)

Unlikely. But also not followers.

Sometimes when you march to your own drummer, you may find people marching alongside of you. Take independent decision making, any degree of perfection mix in a group activity and you can find yourself leading. The problem with perfectionism is avoiding the paths of diminishing returns. It seems many successful leaders have instincts of when to pull the trigger.

I could see DS accidentally leading or even intentionally leading, but can just as easily see him being a follower. Interesting to watch and think about.

I think leading is sometimes seredipity. I would not consider myself a leader, I am rather independent. But in HS,after the regular boys season, the grade 12 girls would get the football team shoulder pads, helmets and shirts and play another school in a powderpuff game. The year before we did it, a girl got injured, so they told us we couldn't play. I pushed the agenda, the newspapers came to cover it. I went to the board and some women groups got behind it. Then they left it up to the county PE teachers who said only if we got expensive breast plates. Instead, being a figure skater, I knew the people at the main rink, on the only Friday, our big Canadian local team was not at home, they let me have the rink. So guys at school lent us equipment, we challenged another school, my brother and his friend reffed and we sold tickets for $0.25 to pay for the party. A lot of people came since the local big hockey team usually played and stayed anyway. The seats were packed and it was rather hilarious because many of the girls did not play well. One girl in pigtails and pink ribbons got in a fight with another similarly dressed (mostly cheerleaders on these teams). I got coverage and I got a scholarship from the Masons. Not planned.

Yes, that might possibly happen with my kids, especially DD, who is an idea person. However, I don't know if I see her following through if she had to organize groups of people. I could see her doing things like making calls, going to a board, etc. She has initiative and creativity. People skills...not as much.

I accidentally ended up in charge of something sort of huge recently on a local level. It was very intimidating to me, and I hated it about 80% of the time, but for various reasons, I was the person most qualified. We succeeded in our efforts. I never want to do anything like that again--but the problem is that now people think I do.

I'd would say of my two girls, DD8 has a better chance of being a leader. DD8 has a great capacity for being social and likes to be in charge (and yes can sometimes be bossy). She is very good in group situations and kids tend to listen to her. I've also seen her taking directions from other peers and you can visibly tell how uncomfortable she is and you know her gears are turning thinking about what she would rather they be doing. The key here is that she goes along with it until the time is right to jump back in control.

On the other hand, DD9 doesn't like group work and would rather do things by herself or with another capable partner. In a partner situation I could easily see her being the leader and not have any issues giving her opinion and pushing her own agenda. DD9 doesn't have the social skills that DD8 has and most times could care less about others and what they think/believe. DD9 could be a leader if she wanted to, but it just isn't her thing. Of course she doesn't have any problems trying to be the leader when it comes to her and her little sister. Little sister does have a problem with this!

I agree with what some others have previously said - They aren't followers by any means, but not out right leaders either and I'd say more often them leading would be more situational or accidental.

Bingo. This is both me and my DD-- to a tee.

We've both got great communication skills and we're good organizers and problem-solvers, which makes us well-qualified to "lead" but the introversion and divergent thinking parts of things mean that we find it both exhausting and frustrating to do so.

DD much prefers to be the a leader's "right-hand (wo)man." I'm a power-behind-the-throne person myself. We both seriously shy away from the spotlight, but are happy to direct or run the stage crew from the wings.

we've spent nearly 6 years trying to make it clear to DD5 that simply organizing and directing what everyone else should do is NOT the same as leading everyone in a game.

i'll give her the fact that she's generally got good ideas, but allowing a natural-born dictator to flourish is just! not! on!

No.. I suppose it's possible DS14 could become section leader in marching band. Or an office in some sort of club. But student government holds zero interest for him. He is introverted and really not much of a leader.

This - my DS. So much so that he (in reference to his independent behaviour) was mentioned several years ago in the school newsletter as an example of an alternative form of leadership.