Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy Very Young HS graduates-- traditions? Y/N?

So my DD14 will be graduating this year-- she's obviously younger than many of her classmates, but we're game for her to do as much of the traditional stuff as seems age-appropriate and that she finds meaningful.

Other information-- she won't have a senior yearbook, really, as it's electronic and the kids don't really have a way of keeping a copy once they graduate and are locked out of the system. Because it is virtual school, most extracurriculars are independent OF the school. One exception is NHS, and DD has been an officer her entire career (both NJHS and NHS). She will graduate with honors and be recognized as such during the ceremony-- maybe even speak.

She's certainly graduating near the top of her class of 379, maybe even in the top spot (we simply don't know yet), and won't until June, as it's VERY close at the top end-- there are three or four of them with GPA's near 4.3-4.4 with grade weighting.

Okay, so with all of that said:

A. Senior portraits? Would you? DD feels that she'd like to wait until she is closer to 18, perhaps as she gets ready to finish college, before she does the formal good photographic portraits. I don't think that she's changing all that much in appearance, but I can sort of see her point, in that the yearbook photo isn't exactly going to be a keepsake thing for classmates, and we have very few extended family members to give pictures to at this point. I guess it's been about three years since we did pictures, though, and I'd like SOMETHING. It seems a little degrading to roll into Sears or Olin Mills with her, though... like she's a little kid. (eek) Senior portrait sitting on the rocking horse... hmmm... thinking NOT.

B. Class ring-- she's been a super-star with a lot of unusual activities (rifle, dogging, etc.), and could construct a VERY interesting 'class ring' as a keepsake. I'd completely support her wanting to do that. Do kids actually DO class rings anymore? Or not so much? Maybe it's regional? I seriously have no idea. This maybe seems more like a good idea to me since she won't have a yearbook. But I don't want it to be a dorky thing, and also... her hands are TINY... definitely child-sized fingers on her, in part due to her probable EDS leading to arachnodactyloid fingers. Maybe she would like a traditional one that she wears on a chain or something-- that would get around the sizing issue and the fact that at 21, a ring made to fit her snugly at 14 might not fit anymore. Would you do it? Or is there another idea of a milestone keepsake that would mark the end of some of those grade-linked high school things that have been important to her?

C. After-party-- school is sponsoring, so it's probably fine. But she'll (easily) be the youngest one there, and she IS a very pretty girl. Among 18yo's. Not sure how I feel about this one yet. She doesn't look obviously 14, nor does she necessarily act it, and many of her classmates and teachers don't know how young she is.

D. Graduation announcements? No clue who we'd even send them to, really... we're kind of informal, and the people we actually CARE about will probably be attending her graduation ceremony in person if able.

Anything else that I should think about??

Is finishing high school really such a big deal over there? I would have a family dinner and buy her a present that will be useful in college.

Our DD18 had a friend take her senior picture. My school worked in much the same manner - photos didn't need to be a formal, school type photo. We also purchased a photo of DD18 from graduation in the cap and gown (maybe $30).

I don't think that many kids at the local public HS got rings - my kid did not though I asked if she wanted one. I went to a private school and there was some tradition/ceremony surrounding the rings. Every kid got one - think it was at the end of 10th grade. DH did not get one (public HS) but many of his friends did. He recalled people getting the ring before or at beginning of 12th.

I guess it depends, but at my high school and the high school my daughter will attend, yes, it is a very big deal, and one worth celebrating, for parents and kids.

There are picnics and parties and dances and a non-denominational service for all who choose to attend. Neighborhoods have banners printed listing the names of the graduates.

HK, here it seems like many people hire photographers to do a senior portrait and it is usually outside rather than in a studio.

I think she would be fine at the party--when I was a 14 yr. old freshman in high school a few of my good friends were 18 yr old seniors--we were at social events together and there were never any issues. (Now when I was 18, and one of them was 22...but that doesn't apply here!)

If your DD is as geeky as my DD about LOR then she will really like the ring on a chain thing I think. Especially if there were some 'elven' looking engraved words inside...

In this day and age, I'd say class rings are fairly insignificant. I'd save my money on that one.
I'd also spend some money on portraits, but you don't have to consider them "senior portraits". You can then get them done again at 18 when she's graduating college.
She's probably pretty safe at a school sponsored party. The chaperones are usually parents keeping a very watchful eye. Probably not even a chance to play spin the bottle or truth or dare. (which there might be at someone's birthday part or something, where the parents let the kids all hang out alone in the basement) If you let the chaperones know her age (if you feel comfortable) then I'd expect them to be all over her even more.

But all of this really based on her feelings. If she cares about it, let her do it. If not, probably a waste of time/money.

What about a charm bracelet as a keepsake instead of a ring?

I know a family that did nice bags / briefcases for graduation. It seemed practical and appreciated.
So maybe something like this for now
http://m.nordstrom.com/Product/Details/3361210?origin=keywordsearch

And a briefcase or nice luggage at the next few graduations.

Just some ideas.

It was interesting when our eldest graduated HS, there were
congratulations offered and my son commented on that saying, "I don't know what I'm being congratulated on, it's not as if graduating from HS is a major accomplishment." For him as for I'm sure most if not all who frequent this forum, I'm sure you can understand that thought pattern, I talked with him about that and we came to the conclusion that while he might not consider it a grand achievement, HS graduation for him was stepping stone, an occasion worthy to be marked as it signaled a new beginning rather than what he considered a major accomplishment.

I'm uncertain about class rings, as you said, that might be regional. Our eldest DS got one, I don't think he's worn it after the first week he had it. Pretty pricey one week item. On the other hand, the gold chain and Crucifix we gave him the day before he left for college, he wears on a daily basis. I guess what I'm saying here is as her parent I think something meaningful to her from her family might be of greater importance and meaning.

We talked to our eldest DS about a graduation party. We kept it simple and fairly brief (about 4 hrs.) understanding that he was likely more interested in getting out and about with his friends than sitting at his own party and discussing life with his elders! Still though, it helped to explain to him that while it was indeed HIS graduation party, that gathering was also an opportunity for all those that helped to raise him along the way to wish him well in his future endeavors, that the party wasn't simply about his accomplishment (because he didn't see it as one) but a chance for those who care deeply about him to see him off before college.

Graduation pictures, well, why not do both? If she's 14 now and likely 17-19 when graduating with an undergraduate degree, photos for both occasions? There isn't anything saying you have to do a HUGE package this time, simply select one or perhaps two favorite shots this time.

Is there anything else you should think about? Yeah, there is, your child is going off to college soon and they're leaving a system they've grown up in for their entire life thus far. There is going to be a LOT of uncertainty and insecurity in her life this summer. The best thing you can do is a great deal f talking with her this summer, perhaps even taking a long weekend vacation with just the two of you (which is also a great graduation gift)

I'd keep celebrations low-key and personal. Don't worry about announcing your DD's graduation formally; the people who you really value will hear it organically from you or already know.

Gift-wise, why not make it an experience gift? A weekend trip somewhere she'd like to explore--maybe to take in a play or concert--would be a great way to celebrate the rite of passage of moving to university. Another idea is to buy a piece of tech kit that would help her in university, like an iPad with an infrared projected keyboard of a slim laptop to minimize the bulk of taking notes.

What about one of those new fangled charm bracelets? Are the called pandora? You could put certain color beads to represent the high school or NHS (I assume they have colors ) and certain charms to represent her hobbies and then just keep adding to it slowly. I plan to skip the class ring with my boys. If I had girls I would definitely do the bracelet.

For portraits I would get the official graduation picture and if you wanted to fine someone in the area with a small photography business and get some casual pictures. Many people are in the sports photography/pregnancy/senior casual portrait business.

After Party I don't know what I would do.