Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Age or Ability Specific Forums Elementary School DD too sensitive for animated kids movies.

Ds6 is scared of things that most kids aren't - although he isn't upset by the troll in Dora any more! But unlike most of you I don't think most of the Disney movies are that suitable for little kids. A friend of ds6 brought the incredibles to a sleepover and even if ds6 had been coping I would have turned it off after 10 minutes, finding Nemo is more suited to 10 and up imo. My kids do have a gap in they have never been to the movies but I am ok with that and if they want to talk to their friends about movies we can always get a book.

My brother always used to have similar problems- and still occasionally does. It's interesting, because we had the same problem with "Brave." We had rented it online and were watching it together when he burst into tears and hid under the coffee table.

I wouldn't worry about any of this. I know I used to have similar problems, but I now enjoy all kinds of movies without any issues.

My son loves the Muppets. I just hate that part of Piggy's character and trying to explain it! Ugh. It is also terrible that we crack up at Statler and Waldorf when really they are just mean. He doesn't seem upset but rather matter-of-fact and at least seems to get that Piggy is not one to emulate.

ha, deacongirl - we love the Muppets over here, too. it's lucky that most of the really mean ones are such obvious caricatures (which makes it so easy to laugh along with Statler & Waldorf!)

i think the Piggy/Kermit dynamic is so disturbing to DD5 because she thinks the audience is supposed to want them to be together, like we cheer for Ron & Hermione in Harry Potter, but in her gut she knows Piggy is a bad egg. i think she's mad at Jim Henson?

DD8 did NOT cheer for Ron and Hermione, because she highly identifies with Hermione, and she's not very impressed with Ron.

haha - but Ron grows so much!
but good for your DD, Dude - that bodes very, very well for her future choices.

From a few years further down the road I will say that in our case things did get better, but there are still some struggles. Where possible we let them lead the way and they tackled what we and they thought they could handle. We tried to make sure that we had an easy out if either one got overwhelmed. We paused movies and went back to them. We would cover eyes and ears through the parts that bothered them and then uncover when everything was OK. We pre-srceened nearly everything when we could but that gets more difficult over time.

Both my kids (DD11 and DS9) were like this. In addition to the emotional aspects of the story, DD11 was utterly overwhelmed by the whole theater experience. Going to see Frozen a few weeks ago was the first time I've seen her really enjoy a movie in the theater. We don't even attempt 3D.

I remember having to take her out a daycare situation at about 3 years old. They had the kids watching Disney movies in the morning while eating breakfast. I usually dropped her off before the TV was turned on so didn't realize what was happening. One day I had to run home for something and came back to find my DD(then 3) sitting at the table bawling her eyes out, while a Disney movie was on the DVD player. She was scared by the characters and the story but the teachers simply couldn't understand why she was so upset - all the other kids were fine! I pulled her out then and there. Both of my kids still climb into my lap and cover their eyes during the scary or overwhelming parts of movies we watch at home.

For DD11 it even applies to some reading. She put HP Book 5 down with about 30-50 pages to go (I think about when an important character died) - finally picked it back up a week or two later and finished it, but then had no interest in the remaining books for almost 2 years. Finally read both this past summer.

The demands of school are creeping in. Previous years we got permission from teachers for her to leave the room during oral reading of parts of books like Stone Fox and Land Remembered, because she found them overwhelming. That requires knowing ahead of time what the lesson plans are, because most teachers don't see a problem.

Now I can't seem to plan ahead, so we deal with the fallout after the fact. They read Poe last year in class and she had nightmares for a week. She attended a play presentation this year as part of her Language Arts class (7th grade) which included several Poe short stories as well as "The Monkey's Paw". Although she made it through the performance, the nightmares were back for several days and she could not remotely cope with the homework assignment to summarize and describe the plays, so we skipped it.

The conflict themes in higher grade level reading requirements are becoming a problem. She recently had to do a book report that was required to be at least a 7.5 grade reading level. Finding a book at that reading level with a manageble level and type of conflict was something of a challenge. Finally settled on The Incredible Journey after I promised her that none of the main characters died (and she remembered having seen the recent Disney version of the movie Homeward Bound).

Letting the kids lead and have control over what they watch and read has been our biggest success. Having them know there is no pressure and they can bail at any time and come back or not gives them control. Pre-screeing and being able to provide assurance of at least the general outcome (while leaving out as many details as possible) lets them trust you and the movie that 'everyting will be OK'. I do have to say that we may have taken this part a little too far as DD11 is now quite cynical about the 'happy ending' in nearly all age-appropriate movies. The 'have to do it' stuff for school is quite another story and has only served to reinforce my belief that letting the kids figure it out at their own pace is what works best.

DS9 has pretty much grown out of it - he is still quite sensitive, but seems to process it differently. I think the boy peer pressure thing is starting to kick in, because the response at school or in public can be very different from the one at home.

Good luck!

I would be be pretty horrified if my kid was watching movies that upset her during breakfast! I would be almost as upset though if the movies weren't upsetting them. I removed my kid at 4 months from a home based cater because the tv was on every time I was there - only as background but I don't think it is appropriate. There were other reasons but that was the main one.

Ds6 has had a bit of a problem with read alouds at school though this year. He edges closer and closer to the teacher until he is almost on his lap. The teacher thinks he is just engrossed (he is) but misses when it is more and makes him sit on his own mat for story time. I haven't done anything because I didn't find out until nearly the end of the year and none of the stories have been frightening enough to cause problems afterwards.

My DS14 was very sensitive to specific things when he was younger but not to my memory for Disney films. But it possible he never really watched them. He preferred TV shows about animals and science. He would not, and still won't have anything to do with Charlie & The Chocolate Factory. We never forced him, and he even made a deal with his 2nd teacher once about being allowed to leave the room when the teacher read it out loud. This resulted in a massive tantrum once when because of change in schedule, he thought the teacher had forgotten.

Time & maturity will help. There really is no need to watch Disney movies but if you really feel she will understand her peers better you could try her borrowing some Disney books that describe the plot. While I abhor these books because they are usually very badly written, I could see them being useful in this instance. It's easier not to get so emotional when reading it than watching it on T.V. Once you know the princess is going to have a happily ever after it might be easier to watch the tension. Even if she doesn't watch the movies, reading the books might help her communicate with the peers that are wild about them.

I suspect that the reason for this being common in GT kids is that of most of these movies just go over most preschool kids heads.

I know of two nt kids that are dd's age who also cry/get scared while watching some Disney movies. I think the difference is what triggers the emotions. My (limited) observation is that the nt kids cry at the obviously bad stuff whereas dd cries for even the subtle and covertly bad things, and many times in anticipation of the bad thing even before it happens.