Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums General Discussion Advice needed... profoundly gifted 1st grader

I would talk to the school again and ask why they are opposed to subject acceleration. Is it because it makes the schedule too complicated? I think most kids would probably be fine staying in the grade for their age as long as they get appropriate work in math and reading. For reading, most teachers do leveled groups. Or at the very least, allow the child to read books at their level. Math is more difficult. I understand not wanting to grade accelerate. As I said, I have one kid where we did it and it worked fine, but I don't think it would be a great idea for the younger one. He is in first grade and is ready to learn long division and just learned multiplication like 96X42. It would be difficult to find another child like that in his class even if the teacher TRIED to do some kind of leveled group. She talked to me about "giving him second or third grade level math" and I was thinking is she just going to GIVE it to him, or is she going to teach him the concepts? How in the world is that going to work? I wrote back and said that I don't think it would be a good idea to give him work that he doesn't know yet without being instructed. Second grade would be fine, but I'm sure there are some third grade concepts he doesn't know yet.

Another option I had for her was putting him on the computer. We have a subscription to ixl.com and she could put him on the computer while the rest of the class is learning how to do 2+2. She agreed that would be fine, but hasn't put him on the computer at all yet. Maybe it would work with other teachers, which is why I'm bringing it up.

DS has actually ASKED her to give him harder math and she still hasn't done anything.

It's a difficult situation and it depends a lot on the teacher and how the classroom schedule works. DS has 22 other kids in his class of all different abilities and I don't think the teacher has time to teach him advanced concepts. So even though he is 2e I'm going to ask about having him subject accelerated with accommodations made for his disability. There's a strong chance it will be difficult to coordinate though (with schedules of 2 different grades).

Well said.

I disagree with the idea that one needs to heed advice from many others regarding acceleration. This decision is so personal and so individual. I have been told so many times what *ought* to happen with my child based on scores or abilities or levels or evaluations and none of those involved really know my child or our options or the possible consequences of each decision. The "experts" have quickly been revealed to know very little about my child or our specific circumstances and skipping has mostly been recommended to help make a situation easier for administrators, not for the benefit of my child. It's easier to provide high school math in the middle school than the elementary, but that doesn't mean a kid has to be in middle or high school to receive it.

Mommajay -- you know your child and your situation the best. I agree with indigo's "if it ain't broke" approach. If your DD is happy currently, I wouldn't be inclined to skip because you are worried about a poor fit. If she's unhappy, that's a different situation.

I've heard countless times that PG children need to be radically accelerated or that gifted kids must have altered instruction or risk horrible underachievement or rebellious behavior or stagnation. The biggest benefit of DYS and similar for my family has been learning that families with PG kids approach this in a variety of ways -- and each approach has its share of anecdotal positives and negatives. What works depends on the family and the options and myriad details that only you can know about your family, but it is definitely possible to make this work without skipping. When my child was the age of yours, I asked the same question on a DYS list and got a huge range of responses. It helped me immensely to see the variety of possible ways to make this work. The whole process can be much more flexible than it may seem to someone with a young child. I know kids who thrived with multiple skips or single skips and kids who thrived for a while, but then needed/wanted to undo skips and did. I know of kids who have gone to college and then later gone to high school, kids who have not skipped and then in middle school been ready for college and skipped all of high school and went straight to college, and kids who have finished high school and a college degree simultaneously. There are lots of ways to make this work and most of them are hard, involve heavy parental involvement, and lots of reassessing and re-evaluating. Some families relocate for better opportunities for education in other locations. I'm not saying that it's easy and in other circmstances, skipping many grades would likely have worked great for us. But skipping doesn't have to occur now if you or DD are uncomfortable with it right now. It works for many folks and avoiding it works for many folks and none of us know enough about your circumstances to make sense of what your DD needs.

I've only read the first page, but wanted to add my 2 cents.

I have been in that situation, and found a solution other than skipping, but it probably isn't something you can do. I think your child being happy and challenged is more important than you not wanting her to grow up too soon. Every mother thinks their child is growing up too soon. Reading sixth grade stuff doesn't make a five year old eleven, they're just a five year old reading long complicated sentences or doing long division or whatever.

But look at it this way - given the choice between a short childhood and a happy childhood, which would you choose?

I didn't even learn that lesson in my first degree.

I have mostly skimmed the posts but as far as other strategies, one I have not seen mentioned is simply minimizing time at school.

Our school's absence and tardy policies are complex and we are still understanding them. Beyond the actual policies are the reasons for them, which are policies tied to the school's funding and which are just something an official thought might be a good idea. Either way there are some gems in there. A student present by X time is considered present the entire day, it does not count towards absences. Religious holidays are not counted towards absences. We schedule appointments, well dental visits etc, for smack in the middle of the dullest part of the day. The parent, having other commitments, can only get DS back to school at X time. The school happily accepts a note from the dentist and this does not get put into the category of parent-explained absences, for which there is a cap. DS has weekly OT privately supported by our personal health insurance (and the school is happy with that as they would prefer not to pay to provide it), and that takes over half a day. And we strictly observe the district policy concerning student health, ie that parents should keep home any child displaying symptoms of an infectious illness. Given colds are infectious, as we get into winter I imagine that will gain us more homeschool days than we even want. So far DS has had lots of absences but none the school would take any issue with as far as their policies go. DS is attending an interesting homeschool group class one day a week this way in which he has learned more than in the total amount of time in 1st grade. There will be some absences from it too as I don't want him away from school the same day every week, but he enjoys it when he does get to go.

This fall is not as easy on the parents' careers as I imagined it would be, but I hope it is allowing DS to make it through more easily to a point in which there is more differentiation in place for him.

We try to communicate well with his teacher regarding absences so she is not surprised. I know she has sent make up work home for another student that was ill, but not for DS, and I think that's a tacit approval. I doubt she feels she is allowed to say anything verbally supporting the strategy. But considering the number of meetings we've had with her, and the number of days DS has been absent, I have the feeling it would have come up if it were going to.

Kaibab's statement:

There are lots of ways to make this work and most of them are hard, involve heavy parental involvement, and lots of reassessing and re-evaluating.

Worth calling out. Beautifully stated.

One of the things that is actually almost alarming is the rate at which an HG+ kid can learn new concepts. My own DD sometimes is almost alien in this regard. While neuroplasticity is believed to continue throughout one's lifespan, childhood is the maximal period for it and I cannot help thinking that stretching/enriching/exposing as early as possible can only do good. DW and I have skipped our DD but we also recognize the horrible truth that to keep her challenged more skips may be necessary down the road.

Whether or not to skip a child depends on many factors and the academic quality of the school is one of them - even a 'gifted program' may not actually be at all demanding/engaging to a high LOG kid. Many 'gifted programs' are diluted for political reasons, they are crammed with kids that frankly shouldn't be there and ditto for the staff all in the name of anti-elitism. The school is admitting that what they are offering is not enough for your DD at her current grade. Another factor would be how quickly does she make friends? Does she tend to get along better will kids who tend to be older?

If you are on the fence then you should get your child tested for her good and for your sanity - it is so easy to wobble over "should I/shouldn't I?" In the dark. Childhood is not over rated but nor is being a happy and intellectually engaged adult with the confidence to achieve self-actualisation.

Please don't get offended by some of the earlier threads or even this one - we are all here trying to help one another deal with the trials and tribulations of raising a kid to be happy and fully functional adult. For many of us this board is literally our group therapy.

YMMV

[quote=Polly]I have mostly skimmed the posts but as far as other strategies, one I have not seen mentioned is simply minimizing time at school.

This is EXACTLY what we do, Polly! Our state has a minimum # of hours that a child has to present to be counted as present for the whole day. So, we regularly only attend school for that # of hours. It actually is working quite well. DS goes to specials, hangs out with friends for a few hours and then comes home to learn. I only officially homeschool him in one subject, but I suspect the official number of subjects will increase very soon (like in the next few weeks).

We are in the middle of considering a grade skip as well. But now I am thinking, after having observed some of the upper grades, that a grade skip will NOT be a good idea (at this school). So, we may just increase our time at home and decrease our time at school and see how that goes. (Our long range goal, for now, is to attend a private school in the area that DS can attend in 2-3 years. I have worked there and know that it will be a good fit for DS because they group by ability and not by age for most subjects.)

Hi, I am a bit late to this thread but did want to post our experience.

My son is very self-aware and as such, has the greatest say in his schooling. We moved to CA about a year ago and at the time, he decided he wanted to be with his age peers although he would be bored in school. We did a lot of stuff outside of school and he reads far above his grade level so it worked out okay.

He has since decided that he would prefer to be with his intellectual peers so we are working on whole-grade acceleration. Unfortunately, the school is less than supportive of it though they are putting us through "The Process". Fortunately, my transfer looks like it is going to go through and we are moving to Reno! :-)

So all of that to say: what does your child want to do?