Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums General Discussion Advice needed... profoundly gifted 1st grader

I seriously do not know. I really don't. I think no-- based upon the fact that her underachievement has historically reflected profound anxiety and depressive symptoms. She doesn't underachieve to be happier-- but as an expression of distress.

I can't really imagine having put my 10-11yo into college classes...

on the other hand, I may regret that given the other things that she's learned instead.

If it were a simple matter of being able to "just" skip a grade and-- hey, presto!-- everything suddenly fits forever, then yeah, maybe.

But I can definitely see the point where you realize that your child's trajectory is carrying them to a point where if you DON'T "clip their wings" they'll be gaining about 3-6 mo on chronological peers for every year that passes, well--

that might not look so daunting at 6yo, when it's only a year and a half to two years ahead of them... but by 12yo, that is a different matter entirely, because a kid like that is now 4-7 YEARS ahead of them if they've been developing according to their own needs as a student. Most schools simply don't accommodate that well to begin with, and it's such an unusual developmental trajectory that it's hard to know what the "right" placement is when none of the options is a real "fit" entirely.

I don't think anyone would argue that a PG 12yo "fits" beautifully... anywhere. Not in middle school, not in college, and nowhere in between, either. It is all least-worst at that point.

Granted, my DD is only 8, but we've already had this conversation a few times, as her existential angst progressed to separation from her parents due to college and career.

Yes, she has been skipped a grade, but we don't consider this to be any kind of loss of childhood, primarily because we don't consider graduation from high school to be a necessary time of separation. DD is encouraged to live at home while she attends college for a number of reasons... comfort, familiarity, family support, and yes, reduced debt. She likes the idea very much... for now.

Even completing college is not necessarily seen as a time when she needs to leave the nest. Staying at home would provide further advantages... give her time to find the right opportunity, rather than grabbing the first one, give her an opportunity to pay down college debt and/or save towards a house, etc.

She'll leave whenever she decides she's ready, naturally, and possibly sooner than later, but being grade-skipped need not be a part of the process.

I agree.

Have you had an IQ test done?

I am struggling with the same issues with my first grader. We had grade accelerated his older sister when she was in kindergarten. So she is now 7 (almost 8) and in third grade. Since she has an Oct. birthday she is close to the Sept. 1 cut-off and that made it more palatable. How close is your DD to the cut-off?
I will say that DD has ADHD and even with that, being in the next highest grade is still too easy for her. She is scoring around the 98th-99th percentile on achievement tests even after being grade accelerated.

There was a possibly to SUBJECT accelerate her, basically keep her in the correct grade and have her go down the hall to the next highest grade level for math and/or reading, but the principal said that it would be complicated and we might as well just move her up a grade for everything. My DS currently in 1st grade is advanced for both math and reading, but according to his IQ and his non-verbal score being so much higher, I think it is math he will shine in over the long term. So I am asking about subject accelerating him just for math.

The teacher said she can give him higher level math in the first grade classroom but she has been saying that 6 weeks now and nothing is happening.

Hope this helps (it probably doesn't).

If gifted ones are placed with age-peers and are not studying and choosing friends who are also not studying (not because they don't need to but they don't want to), in middle and high school, that could lead to real problems.

I think that the first step you could do regardless of your decision to skip is to afterschool your child - no matter what. If you find the time or resources lacking, please consider a tutor or tutoring center that can meet the needs of your child in math and LA.
As for grade skipping, if I were you, I would save that skip for middle school and ask for subject acceleration and differentiation right now.

I have put my gifted 6 year old in a school that offers subject acceleration - but the accelerated math is still too easy for him (even when it is 2 years ahead of his age/grade) though the accelerated LA is at his level because they use real literature and literary analysis and there is no restriction for book choices. We consider that the math at school is "review" type math.
But the school offers other subjects which keep him happy all day long - like geography, history, computer programming, music etc where he does not get bored because he is learning things new to him.
So, we afterschool in math to meet him at his level and he reads higher grade level fiction and non-fiction at reading time in school where they let him bring in his own reading material.

How to make a "normal" grade work?

We have chosen not to skip, although have thought about it. First reason -- it wouldn't have helped academically. For a child reading at 5th and doing math at 3rd, what will 2nd grade offer? We had a massive mismatch and could see no benefit. With multiple year subject acceleration, we found the level was wrong again within 2-3 months, so that wasn't a long-term fix for us.

What we have done -- multiple years subject acceleration, tried a school program for PG kids, homeschooled for a few years, tried an HG magnet program, summer program supplements, etc. We've pursued lots of non-academic interests in sports, computer science (not usually taught til high school but available at any age for interested kids), math outside school, music, music composition, chess, etc.

We are conflicted about much of this. With a child capable of college level work at 10, where does the kid fit? It wasn't in college but it wasn't in elementary either. Sadly, skipping into middle school still would have been woefully inadequate. Some kids in that situation just love the possibility of doing work with professors and don't care much about social fit. I didn't have kids like that as mine love recess and their buddies and playing like kids.

It all depends on the kid and the local resources and your resources. What options are available for elementary/middle/high school/ or early college? Is there a state boarding high school? Does the kid develop interests in things that take a long time -- like hours of music practice daily to offset academic misfit? Does the kid love social time with same age friends or yearn for older friends?

We've also tried to avoid much acceleration to keep work short and free time long. This has ultimately failed with multiple AP courses in middle school which have lots of busy work that takes time, but early on, school work was truly easy and there was lots of free time to dream and self-teach freely.

I agree that there is no hurry. There may be options for meeting the need without changing the grade level. We've had tutors and independent projects and mentors who were college professors, etc. It's a lot of work, but so far, kids are happy.

I think this is also another path for a child who is not crumbling in school, though as pointed out, it can fall down in middle/high school and takes a lot of work from parents. If the child has an intense outside interest and a happy disposition, it's a good start, IMO. Chess is doing a lot to keep my DS busy/mentally occupied.

OP, is she DYS eligible? They might be able to help you at school.

Well...you didn't mention anything about how your daughter feels in your OP. It was almost all focused on how you feel about a grade skip. TBH, based on what you wrote, some of the questions and comments seemed completely reasonable. If you had written some of the information in your subsequent message --- and left out the stuff that was all about you --- the responses you got may have been quite different.

If you ask a question in a public forum, you should expect to get answers that you may not like.

If people here have been writing positively about grade skips, it's probably because skips have worked well for so many of our children. No one is trying to be offensive.


FWIW, my double-skipped child took his teddy bear to school when he was in 6th grade. I wasn't sure what the middle schoolers would think about that. By the next Monday, the classroom was full of teddy bears. In December, they had a Christmas party for their teddy bears.

I thought that was all over (he's in 10th grade now). I was wrong. Teddy went to foreign language class yesterday to give a presentation (everyone brought something from home for this). It was a smashing success for all (including Teddy, who got to go to school).

Yes, there are obviously some differences between DS and kids who are 2-3 years older than him. But he gets along with everyone and is doing fine. Alternatively, our DD has skipped one grade and we probably won't skip her again. This is because she loves her friends and would be unhappy in a different grade.

YMMV.