Sending you a big hug - what a tough time to be dealing with school on top of everything else, for both you and your ds.
HK has given you wonderful advice re how to start - I'll add to not be stymied over having to "write a letter" - email counts as a letter (written correspondence) when you are advocating for your child at school.
One thing I'll add to HK's sample letter that our advocate always recommend - give the person you are sending it to a requested time period to respond - be sure to give them a reasonable amount of time - our advocate usually suggested 10 business days as a good rule of thumb. So, for instance, if I wrote a letter requesting that the school staff schedule a 504 meeting, I would ask that they respond to my *written request* within 10 days (not schedule the meeting within 10 days, but let me know if they agree a meeting can be scheduled and if so, when). (eta - one note, also a suggestion from our advocate - if you know your school district's policy re deadlines it is also a good idea to wordsmith that into your letter - so for instance, if you are requesting a 504 meeting and you know your school has to respond by setting up a meeting within 60 days of a parent request, then request that they set up a meeting within 60 days).
I would also break down in your own mind what your ds needs into two "parts" - accommodations for his disabilities, and acceleration for his advanced academics. I would treat them separately for two reasons - first, you need to move on the accommodations issue *first* and asap - if your ds is not receiving appropriate accommodations, he will (most likely - I don't know him, so I'm just guessing this here) - not be able to show his full knowledge and you might potentially get caught up in a situation where the school denies a needed acceleration based on test results that are more influenced by disability than true knowledge.
Last year they tested my child and promised subject acceleration for this year as he outscored their children taught in the target grade. I've just been notified that they will be doing more testing to make sure my child knows "common vocabulary, basic skills, and has no holes and gaps in his learning".
I wouldn't worry about the *content* of the tests they want to run - knowing where there are gaps (if there are any) is a good thing. I would be ok with them giving your ds these tests *if* he has appropriate accommodations *and* if it's not going to ramp up his anxiety too much. I would - if I thought it would be ok with your ds - try not to argue against taking the tests based on anxiety simply because I would worry that the school would bring up anxiety as a reason to not accelerate too. BUT - I'm a bit jaded based on our own experience, so I should say that's most likely what would happen in my ds' former school. Actually it did happen, more than once - so - take my advice on the anxiety with a grain of salt
Anyway, if you are ok with your ds taking the tests, let him take the tests. If the school comes back and says he has significant holes, *then*, at that time, put together a game plan to argue those holes shouldn't hold him back - find a way to fill them in, etc. You'll be able to do it then, but if you spend time and worry over it now, that's potentially just wasted time and energy if it turns into a non-issue based on his scores. Also *try* to think positively about it - it's natural for us parents (particularly us 2e parents who've had struggles advocating for our kids - to assume that the intentions are to prevent something we are advocating for, when it's possible the school just wants to know where any gaps are so *they* can fill them in. I might suggest simply asking what the school will do with the info once your ds takes the test - suppose they find a gap in one area, how do they plan to address it? Ask the question assuming that your ds *will* receive the promised acceleration.
I know the placement we were given is not nearly enough as their testing also showed already... and am frustrated because my child's learning disabilities (for which they are delaying the process to address) make repeated testing a hardship for him. They say all the children will be tested but ugh!
Advocating for a 2e child is tough, and seeing what they sometimes have to go through with both the challenges their disabilities present plus with the roadblocks that might be put in front of them at school is very frustrating. It helps me sometimes to just acknowledge that it is what it is. My ds is not as far ahead in his areas of academic strength as he would have been if he'd never had a disability to deal with. That's his life. But he *is* happy, and he is very comfortable in his own skin, now, as a middle schooler. He had a really tough time for quite a few years in elementary school, both with the struggles of dealing with his challenges and also from being bored with most of the class discussions. I had a really tough time caught up in advocating for him - sometimes it felt like a full-time job. It wasn't what I wanted for him, and it wasn't what I wanted for me. BUT - he came out of it all better than ok, and he *did* accelerate in academics once we got past the whole milestone of understanding what his disabilities really were and how they impacted his academics.
[quote[I am also being told that they want to "give time to settle in" before starting the process for the 504 paperwork I asked for this summer. [/quote]
I think I heard this "give us time to settle in" or "give us 6 weeks to observe" every single danged year any of my kids were in public elementary school... no matter what it was I needed to address
Drove me nuts! I do think the start of the school year is understandably crazy and busy for most teachers, and I can see as a teacher that it would be helpful to have spent time getting to know a student and their work before I was asked to participate as a meaningful contributor in a meeting addressing that student's needs. *HOWEVER* there is a big difference between waiting and observing when the upcoming meeting is an IEP eligibility meeting where you are putting together an individualized education plan and a 504 meeting, where the purpose is to put together an *accommodation* plan to assure the student has fair access to the curriculum and will be able to show their knowledge in the classroom. If your ds needed glasses to see the board, no one is going to tell him to "wait a few weeks and see if he really needs them". Granted a 504 requires a bit of paperwork, but really, 504 meetings in general and the paperwork involved are *not* complicated. I would send off a written request for a meeting *tonight*, send it to your ds' teacher, the school's 504 coordinator, any other staff members that you feel it should go to, and cc the school principal. You can attach your professional reports if you want to, but you don't have to. If you can sum up briefly the nature of the disabilities in the written request that would be good - not the accommodations you're requesting, just the *why* you are making the request.
We see the Neuropsychologist in a couple weeks and I will have all my info together at that point, but I know without starting the paperwork and getting something scheduled it often takes months to get them to move forward.
I'm glad you have the neuropsych eval coming up so soon! Be sure not to delay making your written requests to the school because of it - as you've noted, dealing with school, setting up meetings etc - it can all drag out in time. Even if you are able to schedule meetings at school prior to the neuropsych, you can call an update team meeting after the eval - nothing that happens with the school is a "closed door" - you make decisions, as a team, with the info you have at the time of any given meeting. If you have new information later on, you call an update meeting and change the plan as needed.
So I'm pretty emotionally strained already and not feeling cool headed enough to think clearly about this or interface much with school. I would just love it if some of you would help talk me through this. I have 2 emails sitting that I need to respond to and am vacillating on what to say in response to their rather disappointing words.
Would it help you to share the actual words sent to you in the emails and have some of us give you specific suggestions re words to respond with? If you don't want to post them in the public forum, you could pm us. I am sure that whatever you decide to say, it will be the right thing - and again, there are really no absolutely "right" or "wrong" ways to respond.
Hang in there -
polarbear
