Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Age or Ability Specific Forums Elementary School Please help 7 year old behavior problems

I am new here. I have a 7 year old son, who we are in the process of getting tested, though there is no question that he is gifted - more a matter of how gifted.

My question is, can giftedness look like ADD and/or ODD in a classroom that doesn't differentiate enough to keep him engaged?

The long story: He started to read at 3, could do simple math not that much later, could read the clock and do simple fractions by 4. He now reads and comprehends pretty much anything you put in front of him, though he would still rather read picture books or encyclopedias (they have pictures but tell true things so they are the "best"). He understands advanced math concepts and does math in his head/verbally but hates to write it down (I can't tell if it is that the worksheets they give him are too easy/repetitive so he refuses to do them or if he really doesn't want to write as he doesn�t like to write either). Science is one of his biggest loves - when he gets into a topic I often have to go to the HS or college level to satisfy his curiosity. Like when he wanted to understand the immune system it wasn't good enough to tell him a general description of how the body fights disease, I had to go find a website that showed how cells reproduce and how the virus would take it over and then how the body fought it with all the technical terms and cell diagrams to go with it. Now he is finding history to be just as interesting and we have to deep dive every topic he finds fascinating.

As you can expect this is a problem in school. We started seeing some problems in preschool � more with other kids, they didn�t like that he could read and he felt bad about it so he tried to hide it. So we did a half day preK class half day preschool. The preK class was with kindergarteners and he studied with them since he was already ahead of them for the most part - already reading ect. The next year he did K in a K/1st split class with the same teacher and she had him work with the 1st graders and she knew he was still not challenged, her pretest for the 1st graders at the beginning of the year showed her he knew everything she was going to teach that year, she tried hard to find things he didn�t know but struggled to incorporate it in her classroom. The best days were days I would come to pick him up and she would say, �I found something he didn�t know!!� However, both years his behavior was horrible, he would throw fits and didn't want to do assignments, which we both understood a bit as he was still young and he was beyond what was being asked. She assured me it would get better with maturity and as his classes got harder.

So then he entered 1st grade, I didn�t want to try to advance him because socially he was still a bit awkward and his behavior in the classroom wasn�t good enough to move up. But I found a private school that was willing to take him on and find a way to challenge him. It didn�t go all that well. At first he was good. I think he was learning the routine and the kids and that was enough to keep him occupied. But as the year wore on he went downhill. By Thanksgiving he was acting out and being defiant. His teacher was sure she was challenging him but I knew she wasn�t. But I couldn�t prove it because he wouldn�t perform for her. He would only do what was expected of him, and often not even that. He has to be right so he hates working in front of people and the chance of being wrong, so reading out loud or doing math in front of the class were a strain on him (both common in the class) and he would either refuse or when pushed start yelling. He got to spend a lot of time in the Head of School�s office doing his work there (where he very happily did it and returned to class calmly). By the end of the school year he would cry most days when I picked him up, but he wanted to go back so he could play with his friends. His teacher is sure he has ADD and or ODD, but he doesn�t display these behaviors anywhere else, not even at the summer day camp he is currently at (both parents work full time). And the psychologist that I have taken him to has been unable to pinpoint anything. The assessment from the teacher and my assessment were so radically different that he had a hard time believing they were for the same kid.

So that brings me back to the question. Can his behavior be caused by being bored in class? If he were appropriately challenged could his behavior improve? I know the test will help and that I need to continue pursuing the psych visits � but have any of you experienced something like this? My gut reaction all along has been that he is bored out of his mind � could I be right?

Thank you for reading all of this and helping out. I am at wits end and I am already starting to stress out over school next year. My dream is to homeschool, but financially we can�t do that right now. In the mean time I have to figure out how to make a classroom work for him.

His behavior absolutely can be caused by being bored in class. If you were forced to sit in a first grade class and do their work, you would likely act the same way. The only thing that would stop you is being old enough to know that it's not acceptable behavior -- but even if you held it in all day, you would let it out when you got home.

If you can get them to accelerate him, or skip him, you may find that his behavior improves when he is in a class with older kids.

Have you tried the Iowa acceleration assessment to see how he shapes up on that? It measures all the different factors that make for a successful grade skip.

It's quite common for a gifted child who isn't challenged in school to respond in ways that look like ADD, ODD, or both... especially boys. And if he only displays those symptoms in a particular environment, then he doesn't have the disorder. The problem is the environment.

When he was younger I looked into testing and found that it isn't very accurate until they are older, and I wondered how much could be from exposure. I have never pushed him, it is all child driven, but we are also very curious adults who are always learning and reading, wondering and asking questions. Not being around "normal" children I thought most of his behavior was normal until his teacher told me otherwise. So it wasn't until this summer when I found out we were not going to be able to homeschool that I realized that we had to get him tested.

We are working with the school district to get him the washington state CoGAT test, and trying to get scheduled private Wechsler Intelligence Scale testing. I hadn't heard of the Iowa acceleration assessment, I will have to look into that one. This has been an education for me in what might work for kids, I was hesitant to accelerate him due to his behavior but it sounds like I could have been looking at it backwards all along. Maybe acceleration would help the behavior.

Thank you for your suggestions!

I found this on SENG: SENG Concerns for Gifted ADHD Diagnosis: Suggested Online Readings and Resources

Could you check into finding a psychologist specifically familiar with gifted children? I found this: Psychologists familiar with Testing the Gifted and Exceptionally Gifted on Hoagie's website.

DD got the same suggested diagnoses in a
similar situation, partly because the teachers
were having her do 2 digit multiplication,
then 3 digit, then 4--I can't imagine how they
thought that would teach her anything new. Also
there was a master stealth bully in that class who
was pushing buttons for all the girls but the
teachers couldn't see it and kept trying
to make them all be "friends."

Absolutely go to a gifted/2e specialist so you
don't have to spend even more time and
money trying to undo even more effects
of ignorance--if you have to; it sounds like
this psychologist agrees with you so if it's
just the one teacher thinking that this year
it may blow over if you can get suitable coursework.
Davidson's will also help
find people (although for us they were
also listed on Hoagies) and say they can
help talk to the school if your kid is a
Young Scholar--but there are also a bunch
of helpful articles on their site, and the
James Webb book on misdiagnosis of
gifted and 2e kids.

Good luck!

Yes, we had a bit of that too. One of the other boys in class and he did not get along at all, and saddly because he would be the louder of the two he was the one to get in trouble most of the time. They each pushed each others buttons, totally oil and water. It wasn't until the end of the school year though that the teacher started sending both boys to the office.

Other kids can be so mean, and sometimes the teacher just doesn't see it. I am hoping that we won't have that problem this year.

I am in contact with a specialist who specializes in testing so I hope that once we get the process going we will learn enough to make a difference this year. Fingers crossed!

ABSOLUTELY!!! (go back and look through my older posts if you want more detail)

We had some of the same issues with DD9 when she was in 1st grade. She started off the first week of school in trouble (maybe even the first day) and was pretty much in trouble the entire year. It had to be miserable for her, but we had no idea what was going on. She would come home and tell us she "hated" school, which is a very strong word in our family and not used lightly. This was all coming from a very inquisitive, bright kiddo that had no previous issues with school. That 1st grade year completely sucked every ounce of excitement for learning right out of her.

The school counselor swore DD had ADD/ADHD and the classroom teacher told us (flat out) that DD had ODD or conduct disorder. After trying to work with the school to come up with a solution and many, many meetings (most of which we requested) we had DD tested. We wanted to find out what we were dealing with so we could tackle whatever it was head on. We were expecting to maybe hear that she did have ADD/ADHD of some sort because she was wriggly at times, but not when she was engaged in something she enjoyed. Boy howdy - the testing really opened our eyes! We were told DD wasn't any of those things the school was telling us, she was bored (out of her mind) and dealing with a teacher that didn't have a clue. All her acting out in class could have probably been addressed if someone had a clue about gifted children and their needs. We, as her parents, sure didn't understand. She was our first child and we knew she was smart. We just didn't know how smart she really was and how that might affect her in school. I would have thought the school would have someone that understood, but now that we are educated about giftedness, I guess this happens more than you would think.

I think having your son tested is a good start. Make sure you ask the tester lots of questions and hopefully they will give you, in writing, some suggestions for school. Our tester listed several things we could do and several things school could do - it was at least a start!

DD's behaviors at school have improved some since 1st grade (she is going into 4th this year), but I'm not sure if that is due to maturity or her just being tired of always being in trouble or worse, just plain ole apathy. Last year she rushed through her school work, didn't really care how she did in school, and any time she didn't just get something, she would complain it was too hard for her. I really want the spunky, curious girl back!

testing before I retype my huge response that vanished....

1frugalmom, thank you so much for that. It helps to hear your story. In my gut that is what I feel is happening because he is such a sweet boy outside of school. Granted he is still a boy and does act out occasionally, but what kid doesn't? It is looking like we will get the CoGAT test through the school district this month, and I should get to schedule the full testing today or monday. I can't wait for results so I can help him love school again!