Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Age or Ability Specific Forums Pre-school please help

Thanks Max'sMom, Do you have any suggested reading list for gifted kids? there is nothing is my area for gifted kids so it will be mostly info from the internet and praying that we will find some good peers when school starts.

I hope then i am doing the right things by her.. Thats one issue i always think of.. how do I encourage her to say hello, but not to eventually blurt out all our business?!! hoping she will automatically find the balance!! Its so hard to teach politeness yet fear of strangers and the wrong people.

When it comes to attention, my DD is like this: she will play for long periods of time alone, then she comes for cuddles and wants me to play or do something with her. As long as she has had some together time, she will happily go off again. If during that time i comment on something she does eg: The colors you chose are great, or are you enjoying that? or what are you making? she will generally find an excuse to put herself down..I try to differ that i think she has done a great job, but that soon becomes an aruement to which I say I can have an opinion, but she will generally huff if i pursue those ideas and stop the activity. A half year ago or so we went through a phase of whenever i said well done she had a tantrum. She would tell me it wasn't well done, that she could have done it better by "fill in long explanation". I have tried approaching her different, and have noticed if we are in front of others she will smile if i say great! but at home she will tell me the green she mixed wasn't the shade she wanted, or that shes not enjoying it because she can't get a certain thing to go right. I don't comment much lately.. We seem to get on with our own stuff.. A bad thing maybe?
But outside is a different story. Its like she is copying the other kids and wants the praise for what they are praised for. She changes, tries to fit in maybe?! Maybe its her way of trying to get in with the crowd. She is generally very shy, and watches other kids at a distance and i see her laughing about what they do. At some later point then she will "try it out" in front of the other moms to see if she gets the same reaction. eg. with the counting. She copies their actions straight after and looks for approval from them. I don't matter.. But thats just randomly. Its not the whole time that we are on the playground.
@motheroftoddler: If one kid counted to 10 or 20 or whatever and smiled at me i would at least smile. Its not about whats important to us, it's what is important to the kid. They feel an achievement, i wouldn't blank them. I am hoping that the lack of over praise in that case may be a good thing aquinas.

It sounds like she is trying out her socialization skills and trying to figure out what works in your social circles. In this house, we compliment effort and we highly compliment practice. When my husband or I make a mistake, we smile and say we just need more practice. For a kid who almost always gets things on the first try, it is nice to emphasize practice as a way to get even better. Even professional athletes practice... We emphasize that especially professionals practice...

People often criticize themselves to fish for complements. Does she see this modeled by anyone? If I were in your shoes and she criticized something she did, I would probably tell her that I think it is wonderful but that if she is unhappy with it that with practice, it will get even better.

Hey Smidge,

Try this link, there are reading suggestions and some free info...http://www.hoagiesgifted.org/sensitivity.htm
Have a wonderful day

The best thing we ever did was join a homeschool co-op that catered to gifted kids. We honestly don't hang out with people (besides my parents) very often, but when we do, it's with these families with gifted kids.

The other moms just smile and say how cute she is. They wouldn't feel threatened or act judgmental if my 2 year old sounded out words or did complex jigsaw puzzles in front of them. In fact, they'd be like "Oh, wait 'til she does this next milestone." They totally get it. And they get me, too, because they are smart quirky mamas. I can also be myself.

The main problem is that they live a decent drive from us and I think we need to find some closer kids to hang out with. DD is starting to seem like she would really enjoy some time with other kids. Older girls at the playground ignore her-- some are even nasty to her (these are just random local kids we don't know.)

Preschool wouldn't work-- they're very strict about age. We tried it for two weeks and they put her in the two year old room, which she'd still be in this year. The teacher had the classroom set up perfectly for 2 year olds. DD has hit most of the 44-48 month milestones, but she's still a two year old emotionally. She cried when I left her and I probably won't send her back.

My best tip is hunt around online and try to find groups near you with smart kids. My local natural parenting / breastfeeding groups seem to have a higher-than-average number of smart mamas with gifted children. Since many of the other children are advanced, no one's going to judge or be nasty.

Thanks SAHM, I've started to point out to DD when i am trying something new and she is taking notice! i show her things that don't work too.. eg i burnt the rice
And here's the funny thing, I also simply told her that she can say thanks if i compliment her. Why the hell didn't i do that sooner?!! Someone told her the other day her dress was pretty (usually that brings on a pout!!), but she actually said thank you to them! haha! success!! It hasn't solved every problem, but hey, one step at a time
Thanks for the link max's mom.
@Islandofapples, thanks for the advice too! Its so hard to find stuff online, then suddenly things just pop out of nowhere! turns out there IS a gifted preschool in the next town!! Only thing is, its a bit pricey. Its a bit late though, because DD actually starts her new playgroup soon, which is nearby. She is enrolled so i will just see how that goes. Maybe she will have a good experience! Like you i will probably take her out though if shes crying about it and doesn't like it.

Wonderful! Congratulations. I love it when sometimes the best fix is something simple like learning the to just say thank you. :-). Sometimes I miss things like that because with the asynchronous behavior I forget that I never taught my son something and once it clicks I wonder how I missed it because he is only X years old...