Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums General Discussion strengthening control of attention

My DS8 has enormous powers of concentration when he is interested in something and erratic ability to concentrate otherwise. The resulting issues range from getting ready for school/bed in a timely manner (though he can do that with no problem when he sets his mind to it), completing school tasks, coming promptly when called, and so on. He tends to get distracted by whatever he's thinking about.

He does not seem to have ADD and is perfectly capable of concentrating on the task at hand when he is motivated enough (he has no trouble being on his own for violin practice, for example--motivated by video game time)--but we can't cook up motivations for the many things that need to happen in his every day life. We need to help him both see the BENEFIT/VALUE of pulling himself out of his interesting thoughts and increase his ABILITY to do so.

I am trying to figure out things to do over the summer that might strengthen his skills on this front so he is in better shape when he goes back to school. Would rather incorporate it into our normal life than give him extra tasks.

Anyone else have a kid who's so interested in the inside of his or her head that it's hard to RELIABLY do the mundane things of every day life and school? (On the school front, I realize that bumping up the stimulation level might help--but there will still be things he has to do that do not compete favorably with whatever he's thinking about.)

Isn't what you describe pretty much everyone unless you're a person who simply enjoys mundane things because they're "safe"? I realize that statement doesn't help you at all, however, I guess I'm just saying that what you describe isn't unusual, the cure is to find a tangent on the task that makes it interesting. A two page writing assignment in and of itself isn't interesting, however, if your child has a passion for Dragons and can write about them then suddenly it might not only keep his focus but he may be delighted with it. Passion learning is the highest form of learning, work with him to interject whenever possible his passions into what would otherwise seem to be mundane tasks.

we've got this right now with DD5 - and the biggest success we've had is making it clear that acknowledging people when they speak/make requests is the polite thing to do. it's made a big difference with her - i honestly don't think she had any idea how rude she seemed - she was just totally preoccupied!

it's still a bit of a trick for her to do the boring stuff with good grace, but that'll come in time i think. for now, it's enough to see her rejoin the outside world in a timely manner and comply with the daily stuff that just has to be endured (chores/getting ready.) i bet eventually she'll clue in that she's in charge of how much of a trauma all of that actually needs to be!

Just wanted to note - People with ADD don't have problems focusing on things they enjoy either. They can get incredibly hyper-focused and do something for hours with no idea of how much time passed.

Our experience suggests to me that Old Dad is correct. Tuning out is to some degree a kind of normal thing under those conditions.

To train for higher levels of engagement over a longer period of time, I give oral "pop-quizzes" to my DD about things going on around her, or about the tasks which she is engaged in.

Ask for observations that are either detail-oriented (to demonstrate that s/he hasn't been paying attention, or conversely, to demonstrate to me that she has been, sometimes). Ask for synthesis or analysis-- that can often elevate the mundane to a more interesting cognitive level.

"Why do you think most people come to the DMV? Do you think that it varies by time of year? By time of day? Why?"

"What do you think about when you are mowing the lawn? What do you notice?"

"Have you noticed what happens when you add detergent to a dish with oil/grease in it? What do you think causes that?"

Don't necessarily count on it! DS has gotten worse in some ways with doing "the boring stuff," especially if that boring stuff was also pointless stuff (like much too easy homework). For him (and my husband!) it's not just a matter of buckling down and doing the work; I think it is actually difficult for them to do it.

not to stray too far OT, but i only meant about stuff like self-care/getting ready fast enough to not inconvenience others - which i do expect DD to do with good grace. that's a human-thing, regardless of intelligence.

but i'm SO with you on the repetitive homework/schoolwork - it's not just hard for her to "buckle down", it's completely counterproductive and leads to blending/mentally coasting/horrible depression. and i'll be joining you in the homeschooling in the fall for this precise reason!

OldDad, I agree that most people encounter this issue. It's a matter of degree--and I would say my son has a much harder time than most people (even most--or at least many--extremely bright people) on this front. And I think you are right on target about what would help, although some things don't hold a lot of potential for reframing/tweaking to pursue a passion.

Doubtful--glad you are seeing a change in your daughter. FWIW, it has gotten somewhat better for my son over time, presumably from increased maturity, but it is simultaneously becoming a larger and larger issue in school.

epoh--Thanks--and yes, I know. Am working on the hypothesis that ADD is not the explanation (though he certainly shares some attributes with those who have ADD) based on various testing results.

Howler--I love your idea, but how does your daughter respond when you give her pop quizzes? I can totally see my son saying, "that is not what I am thinking about right now." And then I'm in the position of explaining to him why it matters to be thinking about that right now. Which is part of the point of my question.

KnittingMama--Yes, same here. I think it is very difficult for DS to control his brain. He can buckle down, but it seems a LOT harder for him to do than for his peers. Undoubtedly, the inside of his head is especially fascinating, but he also seems very weak on this particular skill and I would like to help him strengthen it!

No doubt sometimes you have to take a different angle on it such as, "I understand that sentence structure isn't of great interest to you, however, in order to write down what you feel so passionate about and be understood by who's reading it, sentence structure is important, so how about we work through the sentence structure with focus so we can get to what you really like as quickly as possible?"

I think it's important for kids to understand that there are necessary evils to almost everything. The car ride to Dairy Queen isn't particularly enjoyable, however, the end result is. Sometimes it helps to focus on the end result and what is between here and there is the cost of getting that end result.

Right-- and so sometimes conversation about these things turns into a meta-cognition discussion.


"I understand that you don't want to think about _____, or to do this. I respect that this is your opinion. What would be the consequences of not doing it? Do you think that there are things that I prefer not to think about or to do? ( ) What would happen if I didn't do them, or didn't pay enough attention to them while I was doing those things?"

Hey, let's face it... long-distance freeway driving is booooooooorrrrrring. But at 75 mph, being inattentive is not an option.