Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums General Discussion Reluctant reader

My DS3 is able to sound out cvc words phonetically. I would write several words on a page in a notebook and he would be happy to do it. In fact, he would remind me if we hadn't done his words yet for the day. However, as we moved on to simple books he seems to have become intimidated by them. We have done some Bob books and Starfall books and he has successfully read them but each time complaining about it. It has now reached a point where he simply refuses to do any reading anymore stating it's too hard or I don't like it - even though he has already proven that he can do it! This is a boy who knew over a dozen sight words at 18 mos old. He has also been accepted into the preschool program at a gifted school for next year. It is not due to a lack of ability. Has anyone else experienced something like this? Btw, I also have a DD7 who is very accomplished academically. Is it possible DS is afraid of looking like an underachiever in comparison? I would really appreciate any ideas on how to make reading fun for him again. I have tried stckers and rewards but they don't seem to work anymore.

Both of my children had a lull in interest after mastering the basics. I suspect they were disappointed that once they cracked the code they couldn't magically read like a grown up. It's perfectly normal for a 3.5 year old to be daunted by lots of words and to have neither the interest or the stamina to read. I'd back off, let the knowledge percolate through his brain and whatever's too hard at the moment mature away.

Being smart is not about reading early, it's about being smart. The preschool will have plenty of non-readers, and will hopefully not be about pushing academics, but about doing interesting things and thinking interesting thoughts about them.

Why does your three year old know the seven year old is anything out of the ordinary academically?

http://www.parentingscience.com/praise-and-intelligence.html

Some phrasings we use with our children instead of telling them they're smart:

Wow, that looks really interesting!
It must have been fun to do that.
How does this bit here work?
Well done! I know you worked hard on that.
Hey, you said you couldn't do that, but you did it!
You did'nt have to try very hard to understand this, John had to work very hard, just like you have to try hard to understand xyz.
This group is for kids who really love math, or this group is for kids who like to read Junie B Jones.

I would just follow his lead and back off on getting him to read. Just spend the time on reading books to him that he enjoys. I am sure he'll be back at it in no time.

He is only three why worry? You may find, though after a while off he will become interested again and have somehow advanced a few steps while you weren't looking.

My HG son at that age only liked a few books, and generally didn't like to be read to much. He really liked fun & silly books like Dr. Suess (Hop on Pop, David books), or about things that he had certain interest in (Blues Clues, Maisy, Shapes) but he was VERY headstrong. I would not focus on his reading, but get him books on his interests, even if it is a TV show. Reading is reading, and read them to him, or let him look at it on his own. Pressuring doesn't really work. Also, early reading is highly linked to early graphic exploration. Get him a small writing pad, and let him scribble, draw, do whatever he wants without much direction.

I agree with the other posters. It sounds like you may be unintentionally making a big deal out of this. I would just let it alone. FWIW, my DD knew a lot of sight words at 18 months, could sound out words at 3, but did not actually read till nearly 5. She is still gifted, and at 9 reads many years above grade level.

DD5 could sound some stuff out at 2, and has had the comprehension of basically an adult since 3... for three years, i thought she was on the brink of reading, but we never pushed and it just didn't really take off. which was no big deal - we could read to her for 10 hours straight, so we weren't concerned about a lack of Book Love!

long story short - this year she did various things: successfully hid her existing ability from her Pre-K teachers and peers, then got massively frustrated by this (terrible) strategy, acted out in class, then suddenly put her mind to getting through the lame readers they're pushing on her - simply so she'd never have to see them again. in the space of a few weeks, she started reading everything in sight. this morning she took Alice in Wonderland to school to read to the class. (and yes, i expect a call about appropriateness any minute, but after the year we've had, i didn't have the heart to stop her.)

at the end of the day, everyone learns to read - and it is breathtaking to see it happening. for us, after all she's been through, it seems even sweeter - and it was totally worth the wait.

My kid started reading a couple of months prior to his fourth birthday. By reading, I mean, just reading anything in sight. All I did was read to him, extensively. I don't think we differentiated between sight words, CVC words etc. We did talk a lot about words, in general. He sounded out words he had not seen before, if he had seen the word before, he would just say it. It is much more important that my kid continues to love to read than start disliking reading. I am an outlier, in that, I don't believe in rewards (or punishments) for making a kid read.

The way I look at it, all kids eventually learn how to read. It is kids who truly love reading, have a love for the written/verbal words, that tend to flourish in the later years. My only advice would be to read to him as much as possible, talk about the story, point out interesting facts etc. You will see him pick it up. There are tons of books for that age -- Mo Willems is especially great for that age. Start off with those, you will see his interest and enthusiasm coming back.

My DD13 didn't really start to read-read (using phonetic decoding skills on everything) when she was four. While this sounds reasonable, this is a child who is probably PG, so I'd call her a "late" reader in that cohort, certainly.

Like doubtful guest and ultramarina, we just left it alone, though she showed many signs of "readiness" before age 2, even.

Within about a six month span, though, her reading level went from "phonetically-controlled readers" to Harry Potter and Mary Poppins. She would read for eight to ten hours a day if we let her.

We suddenly found ourselves in the position of having to point out to DD that not all of the books in our home were... um... appropriate for children. When she picked out Frank McCourt's Angela's Ashes, I mean. (Yikes.)

She LOVES to read. Obsessively LOVES to read. I'm very glad that we didn't push reading on her and make it a power struggle. She's that kind of kid, and it would have ruined it for her.

So my advice is to leave this one alone. Three is still very young. That extra year or so certainly didn't make much difference in the long run to my DD, who is handily managing her junior year in high school at the moment. My personal feeling is that hothousing at 3 doesn't generate additional levels of giftedness, and even MG children can be taught to read at those ages, but teaching a child to LOVE reading is quite a different matter. Reading is its OWN reward system. Treat it that way!

Others have mentioned Jim Trelease before. I'll add our endorsement, too.

HK - you always seem to just magically answer questions i randomly have. lately, i've been thinking a lot about DD's reading trajectory (which is blowing my mind!) and i was just now searching for older threads about how fast everyone's kids picked it up once they truly got going. so thanks for the insight, as usual!