Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Learning Environments Two kids in different schools?

So, DS 7 is in a GT magnet. He is HG+. DS 5 did not pass the entrance test. We are waiting to hear about a sibling transfer to the school (which is not entirely GT, but to which we are not zoned). Won't know until June.

We are not open to sending DS5 to the zoned public school, because of it's academic standards, among other reasons.

We've applied to a nearby private/Catholic school for DS5 and he's been accepted.

I should add that we were very surprised DS5 did not pass the GT test. He is extremely advanced in math...has done multiplication and division in his head since he was four and routinely beats DS7 at getting the answer in two digit addition and subraction. Makes up story problems while we are on the road...so I'm also worried the private school won't meet his needs academically, since they have been open about catering to the middle.

At any rate, I'm starting to wonder what the pshychological impact might be on both kids if they are in different schools next year.

The only GT accomodations available at the Catholic school would be acceleration but they seem open to that, at least hypothetically.

We are Catholic and the Catholic school is small and has a nice cozy 1950's kind of atmosphere, so I can imagine DS7 being a little envious of DS5 getting to participate in that.

So, as I ramble on, the question is this: Do I keep both kids at the same school no matter what, meaning if we don't get the transfer to DS7's school I pull him and put him in with his brother?

OR

Is it better for each child to attend a different school, and hope that each will find his niche and be happy?

Let's pretend cost is not a factor for the sake of the argument.

Thanks for your advice,

Saritz

Not sure it's fair to move DS7 if he likes the current GT magnet.

Can DS5 try again next year?

Yes, he can. I just don't know if he'll feel awful about next year. He's been so excited about Kinder.

My kids are 5 years apart and at this point one is in an elementary school and one middle school. Unless you go to a k-12 school or have twins at some point they don't go to the same school.

this may or may not apply, but at our (sadly & surprisingly middle of the curve) private school, i've heard many, many families talk about how over time they've spread their kids out according to fit, rather than trying to keep them together. they don't love the morning drop-off circuit, but it's made for more peace in the end.

I think so much depends on the individual children involved that that's what you have to look at. My first thought is a question - your children are far enough apart in age, I wonder how long they would be able to be at the same school anyway? And do you think there lives would in any way overlap at school? Do they want to be together - does it matter to them?

My kids have been in different schools - it's been ok in some ways, and it hasn't worked in some ways. When they were in different schools we just explained it to them as having them in schools that best fit each child - and we found good things about each school to emphasize with the child that was going there. Over time, our gang eventually all migrated to one school, not so much to be together but because they saw how cool the school was once one of them was attending it The one way I felt that it didn't work was our youngest child felt left out and questioned why she was at the school she was at if her other sibs weren't.

polarbear

I don't see any problem in keeping them in separate schools other than inconvenience for you, of course. But they are two years apart so at some point they will be in different schools anyways. I don't think it will have as much impact on the kids being separated as it will on you?

... I obviously pretty much had the same answer as posters above me. I wrote mine earlier but forgot to hit enter! lol

Thanks for all of your input. It hadn't occurred to me to move my older son until another mom told me she'd have to pull her daughter if her son didn't get in. And I thought, huh!

They do have some common friends, and although it's a magnet, it's the neighboring school so we do have a lot of neighborhood friends at the magnet. Which is why I fear DS5 will feel like he's been exiled.

I'm not totally sure the magnet is all it's cracked up to be either, but since I don't have a good comparison...

Hopefully the transfer will come through and we won't have to worry about it, but thank you for sharing your perspectives. I think we'll leave DS7 where he is, as long as that is what he wants, too.

I live in an area with an abundace of private schools and an excellent public school system (partly, I believe, because so many kids do go private that the school district can afford to provide more than most public schools because they are still getting the local tax $$ from the 35% of local kids who go private). It is really common here for siblings to go to different schools. As someone mentioned upthread, it can be a really pain for parents for drop-off/pick-up, but it can be worth it for the best individualized fit.

My two are in different schools. It is a lot of work for me but it is just life for them. DS tested for DD's school and did not make it this year, we'll try again next year.
We just make sure to emphasize that each child is at the right school for them and that they are both really good schools.