Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy bubble bursting

Well many of you know that I've been pleased with DD9's academic situation and, natch, describing it because she's "not that G." Well, I'm still feel tremendously lucky that she is in a great school that differentiates with her peers but I realized very fast when there was a rumor of one of her four GT peers (in a class of 21) skipping a grade. Freak out for four -grade -skipped me. Will her support group bust up, should I skip her , too. What good will that do because we KNOW it's the rate of learning at stake rather than the content. So on and so forth...

In short, my denial was revealed to me big time! Like many here, I have a hard time internalizing the idea that 99+ percentage really means that they're different. Gee, maybe that's why most of her friends and ALL her really good friends are ID'd too.

The classroom and GT teacher just laughed at me, like, hey, you're just getting it emotionally. In "their " world those top 1% results and grade equivalents 4-5 years ahead do mean something. I can hear Kriston, Grinity and Neato chortling already.

And I'm counting my blessings that DD obviously has such support.

aline

<...stifling a chortle>

Wow! You heard me all the way over there! I do have a loud laugh, but jeepers!

<smirk>

Ah, the wonderful world of GT denial!

We all come along in our own time, in our own way, Aline. I'm glad that you and DD have such fantastic support and obviously you are doing a great job as her mom.

(pats on the back)



Neato

Yes, it's wonderful you have such support at school!

Aline - your comment about "rate of learning at stake rather than the content" rang a bell with me. That has been my feeling with DS - it's not so much the content (well math yes) but it's more so the rate of learning. It seems if the rate of learning is at issue, that is more difficult to fix.

Dazey

I think the nice thing about skipping is that at least for a year, the rate of learning is faster because the child has to catch up a little.

The potential trouble with HG+ kids is that skipping one year is not always enough. Some need two or three or more over time to stay challenged. That's perfectly fine for some kids, but can be harder for other kids, especially socially. So having true peers makes all the difference in the world!

Personally, I'd think long and hard about breaking up a peer group of 4 kids who "fit" neatly. If they're all on equal footing and one of the four is skipping a grade, I'd certainly at least be thinking about skipping mine, too. And I'd probably be talking to the other two sets of parents, too!

I agree, if you find a few kids your child is well matched with that's a great thing.
Negativity alert:
DD8 just had another achievement eval. I don't see how skipping one grade will matter when her lowest score is 3 grade levels ahead.
She has at least 3 well matched peers in class, and I like what they are doing as a small group.
DD5 hasn't had achievemet test yet, but she has brief moments of brilliance.....ON HER OWN TERMS!!!!!
She absolutely refuses to perform on command.
At the tender age of five she has learned that she doesn't have to do anything she is not interested in by smiling sweetly and saying "I can't do that".

What I have found with my dd is that every year she gets further apart from her ND age-peers and her more MG friends. The differences just seem more obvious as she gets older.

Oh Neato!
Most grade levels include children who are one or more grade levels ahead, so a single grade skip does two things -
1) there may well be other gifted, but more MG, kids in the recieving grade who score similarly to your child, so there is more incentive for the teacher to differentiate for a group than for a child - not to mention that it is more fun! This is particularly true of any gifted programs that may already exist.

2) Once the recognition factor that Dottie mentions is in, more services, such as subject accelerations, may follow.

Of course if there is a peer group in the current grade, or a flexible teacher, that counts for a lot on the other side of the equation.

I'm just trying to show the other side - NOT give advice to you in particular.

Smiles,
Grinity

Here's a blog post I wrote on the subject of pacing. Let me know if there are any holes in my logic, ok?

I notice that a lot of parents hesitate over gradeskips because a gradeskip doesn't put your child with brighter kids, just older kids, doing harder stuff at the same old slow pace. From this perspective, it wouldn't seem that gradeskips are going to help the most gifted kids at all. Yet they do help, I know about 50 kids who's lives are happy and healthy because they got some combination of whole grade and subject acceleration. How can this be?

First, some disclaimers:

1) There are kids for whom the skips don't really help, they need to be homeschooled and that is that. ((Applause)) for the sacrifices that individual families make to allow that to happen.

2) All these gradeskipped kids deserve to have the choice between the skips at their local schools and Gifted-Magnet schools. Some will need skips at their special schools as well.

3) It's a great idea to get your child to expect that they must do some work that stretches them, at home or afterschool if not during school. Those of you with younger children - don't worry about seeming to be hothousing - get serious, and get busy!

OK - So why does gradeskipping work at all?



Part of the reason is the dreaded 'in-class differentiation.' I say dreaded because that's what I was promised and assured was going to help my son, and I've seen this dream sold over and over like the Brooklyn Bridge. And I resent being suckered like almost nothing else. However, we BTDT parents, have seen that most teachers, and particularly the 'right teacher' can do in-class differentiation when the child is within one or two years of their actual readiness level.

Here's an example: Take a kid who is +3 mental age (which is already PG, if the more modest end of PG.)

Give them a .5-year credit for having a summer birthday, and .5-year credit for living in a heavily red shirted community. Get a documented skip for a total of 2 years, and rely on teacher differentiation for the 3rd or 4th year, and volia! You are theoretically have a reasonable fit educational plan. KWIM?

Question:

Are gradeskips just for the highest Level of Gifted gifted kids?

Answer:

I wouldn't reserve skips for PG kids in a community which has no gifted program, or in a place where the gifted program just isn't an option, or is 2 hours a week or less - and lets face it, these are the majority of programs in the U.S. right now.

I would look at skips all along the range of Gifted, as a tool to solve problems - such as perfectionism, underachievement, social, or insulted-dignity behavior problems.

Use the Iowa Acceleration Scale Manual and Dr. Deb Ruf's Losing our Minds, Gifted Children Left Behind, and Dr. Karen Roger's Re-Forming Gifted Education for information specific to your child. For less than 100$ these three books will help you go from a pile of papers in your 'testing results' draw to a plan.
A single grade skip can make a really nice foundation for the subject accelerations, so pursue subject accelerations in at least one subject to fill that mental intensity need. Here's the big secret: Children don't have to be in a program that perfectly meets all of their needs in all of their areas in a totally tailored way. In fact, bending over backwards to get everything 'just right' can be a heavy burden for some of those little shoulders!

There comes the analogy ((drum roll please))

You could, if you had to, send your child to elementary school in a trash bag, with holes ripped out for the head and and hands. I've used this kind of makeshift raincoat at outdoor festivals, and it does keep the rain off. Sure there are going to be some social problems, and PE is going to be a drag, and I'd be cold and cranky in the winter without some clothing underneath, but if you just had to do you, you could. For my kid, keeping him in with his agemates was about like sending him to school in a big green garbage bag. Those were some hard years! He didn't want to go to school, but he and I felt that it was his duty.

Eventually I learned more, and advocated with the school, and 'in-class differentiation ' was the outcome. Things improved. Think of this as the school providing Duct tape so he could customize the bag, perhaps by cinching it around the waist, closing the leg holes, and reinforcing the neck and wrist slits. A great improvement! It really was. I say a prayer when I think back to how close we were to 'leaving it at that.'

During that time I yearned to homeschool him - think individually created clothing. Pick a material that appeals to your senses, create fastening that don't bind or irritate, actually have the clothing fit your body! No matter how many sleepless nights I spent, I just couldn't figure out how to make it work with sacrifices we were willing to make. So we took the course of a private school, which turned out to be willing to do the whole gradeskip.

There is a big range choices between individually made clothing and wearing a plastic garbage bag. Our kids need to be given something better than a plastic garbage bag, but many don't need the handmade clothing, just perhaps, to be allowed to choose ready-made clothing from other departments, previously restricted. Think of a gradeskip and subject accelerations as invitations to other parts of the clothing stores that were previously off-limits.
So that is why grade and subject skips work at all, because most of our kids don't need perfect, just better than what they have. So save those big green trash bags for garbage day, and stop sending your little dears ones out in the world wearing them, ok?


Smiles,

Grinity

I agree with you, Grinity. "Clothes" don't fit in class with age-mates. It's not a matter of whether DS's could have stayed in regular grade (aka "coping"), but thank goodness they didn't. They still float to the top of the new grade. Things still come very easily to them and I worry about development of work ethic.

I worry about the level of maturity of my boys. Sometimes they seem like adults with wealth of knowledge, humor, witty remarks, and then one will ask something that reminds me they're just children. One grade skip doesn't fully address their academic needs, but I want them to be able to grow up/mature, be supervised, etc. So, at least for now, we're not looking at additional skips.