Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums General Discussion Gifted Adult or Alien??

I think I posted this in the wrong spot before? Anyone ever feel like they are not meant to interact with other humans? Like an alien... I've had one mental health professional tell me I have ADD (Mild to moderate) and one tell me I am gifted, though my IQ scores indicate otherwise. She explained giftedness is about how one approaches things, not a score on a test. Either way, I identify with the emotional intensity and was hoping there is someone else out there who knows how it feels to have teh best of intentions and desperately want social situations to run smoothly but can't help but often feel alone, out of place or inadequate. An alien.
Thanks

Somewhat, yes. Most people follow paths of reasoning that I don't, easily. I feel like I'm always reverse-engineering their statements to figure out what they meant. I spent years learning to slow down my associations so I could participate in conversations. People kept saying what I said was a non sequitur. It wasn't, exactly. You just had to follow my thoughts through three or four jumps before I found something interesting enough to share.

I'm always sticking my foot in my mouth. I just wish people would speak plainly, say what they mean, so I can move on without trying to figure out how much of that friendliness was actually meant and how much was social nicety.

My brother, who probably has (is?) Asperger's, would probably agree much more strongly. I have taken to describing him as a space alien to my friends: he has a wonderful heart and the most sincere desire to be social, but has zero or even negative instincts on how people behave, what facial expressions mean and imply, etc.

Is one of these what you meant? Either way, it seems unlikely that you are alone!

I'm dating myself here, but do you know the song "Alone again, naturally"? That's often how I feel. I recently learned that some of my "friends" are intimidated when I'm around. So, now, I wonder if they want me around. Or, even worse, if they are friends. It is very hard when you unconsciously "know" more than the people you are around and never mean to sound like a "know-it-all" and then someone tells you that's how people perceive you. It then makes all social interactions hard because I'm constantly second-guessing what I'm about to say and then sometimes miss the opportunity in the conversation completetly because I'm concerned that what I want to say will be the wrong thing to say. Then, I'm told I'm "standoffish" and "aloof" because I don't participate in conversations.

Is this the kind of thing you mean? I, too, feel the intensity and find it hard to fit in anywhere.

I wouldn't blow off the ADD diagnosis, though, before you look into it fully (which maybe you have). It could be worth considering.

I have often thought that I don't belong here.

er... here, meaning earth. lol

I keep my mouth shut as much as possible.

This makes my life much smoother.

I'm not sure that "gifted adult" (or child, for that matter) and "alien" are mutually exclusive.

Yes, I'm one (or both) of those, myself. You are not alone.

Even among the gifted, there is huge variability in intellectual abilities. High ability and emotional intensity lend themselves to people becoming hyper-focused on a set of interests that will often not overlap, too. The result is that even in a group of gifted adults, you're likely to feel like an alien.

I often experience it myself, right here on this forum.

Yes, but at least we all seem to have that in common.