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Joined: Nov 2012
Posts: 2,513
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Joined: Nov 2012
Posts: 2,513 |
My husband commented recently, "You don't like to cook or clean or stay at home, so why did you want another baby?" I do wonder what I've gotten myself into, but I also think it's okay to look forward to life beyond the baby years. I completely commiserate! You'd be hard pressed to find anyone who relishes housekeeping. I'm an awful housekeeper with a baby around, but I think the correlation between household management and quality parenting is about zero.
What is to give light must endure burning.
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Joined: Nov 2012
Posts: 2,513
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Joined: Nov 2012
Posts: 2,513 |
SAH-parenthood is a real exercise of love. It sounds like this certainly isn't in short supply for you.
I find a great way to engage myself while still being "involved" in play is to wake up a few minutes early and scan pubmed, the markets, the news, business cases, or some other resource to look for novel business or scientific ideas. Armed with some fodder, I can brainstorm for business plans, etc. during activities where my son takes the lead.
It sounds trivial, I know, but it's a small step that has restored considerable personal fulfillment to my harder days. You mention your business as a source of fulfillment, so maybe this might offer a helpful outlet?
What is to give light must endure burning.
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Joined: Jul 2011
Posts: 332
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Joined: Jul 2011
Posts: 332 |
I just wanted to update this for other desperate moms who might read it... things get better! I guess they cycle...
Things are pretty good right now...We have *kind of* a routine. It is like:
*Mom works from 8am-10:30am
*DD wakes up, Mom makes breakfast
*11:30-12:30ish Maybe some TV, her playing around downstairs, etc.
*12:30-2ish TV / Maybe a walk since it has cooled down / maybe an activity or dancing in the living room. I often sit her at the table with watercolor paint. That can keep her busy for a half hour.
*2-5 NAP! Mommy works
*5-7 Random. TV / Playing with toys...hanging out while I cook dinner, eating dinner, playing with daddy when he gets home
*7-12 Hangs out with daddy upstairs - plays with toys, sings, dances, watches a show, maybe bath time.. falls asleep. Mommy writes her novel / works on her business / or just watches a stupid TV show. Sometimes I go upstairs and we watch a show together. DH also does homework, or sometimes plays a video game.
DD seems *happy*...really, she does. It's just key we take time out and just play with her, obviously. There may be too many TV opportunities, but I discovered the other day she's learned ALL her letter sounds from a 30 minute LeapFrog movie on Netflix. There's a few, like "Z", she can't do yet, but she makes almost every sound when I ask, and this is from a 23 month old in speech therapy because of a tongue tie we just fixed (she is also talking more, now)
My business is finally starting to pay me... I am 46k into a novel for NaNoWriMo, and I managed to clean half the house.
I think I may start going to the park and library from 5-7 and have DH pick DD up and then I can go to the coffee shop for two hours and write and he can feed her and hang out with her for two hours. That'll get us out more. Otherwise, we sometimes have a homeschool group, errands to run.. events, etc.
I guess what I'm saying is that this either gets easier as your baby becomes a preschooler - or it gets easier when you allow yourself to dive into whatever creative outlet YOU need as a mother. Then, it seems, everyone is happier. ;D
Last edited by islandofapples; 11/18/12 08:17 PM.
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Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 146
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Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 146 |
Glad you've made some headway. Personally, 18 months to about 4 was the best time for me with my son. But, he did go to a Mom's Day out twice a week. Funny: people told me that he wsn't going to benefit academically from going and I always replied "It's called MOM's DAY OUT for a reason! I'm doing it for me, not him."
What I am is good enough, if I would only be it openly. ~Carl Rogers
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Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 487
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Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 487 |
Thanks for posting that islandofapples. I needed to hear that today! 
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Joined: Dec 2011
Posts: 111
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Joined: Dec 2011
Posts: 111 |
...I think the correlation between household management and quality parenting is about zero. Maybe I'll frame this.
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Joined: Jun 2012
Posts: 978
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Joined: Jun 2012
Posts: 978 |
...I think the correlation between household management and quality parenting is about zero. Maybe I'll frame this. LOL me too
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Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 553
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Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 553 |
I missed this thread earlier... when my kids were little we went to the library every week, so that was a big (and free!) event for them. Also gave us new books to read each week so we weren't stuck in a rut. They have a program at our library where your kid can read to a dog now... wish they had that when mine were small!
It costs something, but is there a community center with a pool where you could take her a couple of times a month? Sounds like your weather is beastly hot.
Regarding the housework, haven't seen anyone mention Flylady. But her website has some pretty great motivators and 'baby steps' toward organizing you house and life. I get the daily emails all bundled into one, then just read the one about today's flight plan. It is usually just one 15 minute chore a day, and some tips on keeping on top of laundry, dishes, cooking, etc. I don't do everything she suggests all the time, but she has added some sanity to our lives.
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Joined: Jan 2013
Posts: 5
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Joined: Jan 2013
Posts: 5 |
I think that choosing the right content can help a lot with feeling guilty about TV. I did my best to wait until age 2 but sometimes you just need 30 freakin' minutes. Anyway, regardless of schedule, picking good tv makes a difference.
One of my favorites is YogaKids, which gets the kids moving. It says 3-5 but my toddler enjoys trying it out. There are probably other movement dvds out there...
The other series I love is The Little Travelers, which are documentaries about 2 sisters visiting different countries (Japan, Bali, British Isles, Germany, and Iran so far).
The gentler Studio Ghibli movies are great. My 4yo fave is Whisper of the Heart. She is sensitive so virtually all Disney/Pixar is out...
Some nature movies can be good but tons of them have too much hunting and dying. Macgillivray Freeman's Dolphins is good, maybe March of the Penguins.
For the really little ones I used the Baby Signs dvds. It really helped my kids when they were 8 months and up and learning the basic signs. I would chime in now and then to praise their efforts until they got used to copying the signs.
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Joined: Jan 2013
Posts: 5
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Joined: Jan 2013
Posts: 5 |
I noticed several of you mentioned homeschooling - my kids aren't old enough yet but I could see myself trying it if regular school doesn't meet their needs.
I've been having fun dipping my toe into the homeschooling waters by teaching my 4yo piano with the "Music for little Mozarts" series. It's geared for kids 3 and up. The cd, activities, and stuffed animals have been great for getting both the 4yo and 2yo interested. There are teachers who use this series, but it was going to cost $800 for the first year! So, I got the $45 deluxe starter kit of amazon and did it myself.
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