I managed to get a last minute appt with a child psych in town on Thursday. She, like us, seems to think that we are looking at some mashup of ADHD vs anxiety vs Aspergers- all complicated by an as yet untested, but obviously high, IQ. We have another appt with her in a week and a half for more testing.
Now, the day after I finally brring him in to a psych, the school calls and wants to set up a meeting with the special ed teachers to discuss what his needs are. I don't know if they're looking at setting up a 504 plan, wanting to do testing, just wanting to 'play it by ear' again, or what. I don't like going into anything blind and I ALWAYS prefer to have done my homework first. Anyone been in a similar situation? Have any ideas on what to expect? What to come armed with?
The outside testing is a good idea. The behavior you are seeing does sound potentially Aspergerish to me; I hope your tester is going to do the ADOS and other tests that would specifically look at social cognition. You may want to find someone with real expertise in autism spectrum disorders to differentiate between that and ADHD, which a general practitioner sometimes finds difficult to do.
As for the school, if it's like ours, there is first a meeting ("building plan," used to be called IAT, sometimes now called RTI meeting) where parents and staff see if they can improve things without going to a 504 or an IEP. That may be their agenda. Or maybe not. It's okay to ask them what the agenda for the meeting will be and who will be there. (See my other posts today about RTI.)
I think there's enough going on that you'd be wise to request-- in writing-- a full educational evaluation from the school, which they would have to do (even if you have private testing) before they can proceed with an IEP. You want to get some data to work with, and that evaluation should get you some. Mention in the request letter everything you've ever seen that's concerning, whether or not it's academic-- social skills and participation skills and organization and following instructions are all part of education. You can share your outside tester's results with the school or not, as you choose, but this way the whole enterprise of figuring things out is moving forward.
My take is, no matter how gifted he is, if the behavior is holding him back, the behavior has to be addressed first; once that's in place, everything will be easier.
DeeDee