Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums General Discussion Giftedness matters

http://www.educationaloptions.com/resources/resources_gifted_adults.php

An online paper by Dr Ruff explaining why the gifted label matters to the emotional needs of a child, and it's not snobbery.

I remember that thought.

I have memories of getting the answers to questions wrong in various classes, because I assumed there was some complexity there that I must not be grasping... Lol, nope. The questions were just that simple. Dum de dum.

I never asked a question once in school. In the beginning I knew everything or understood it the first time it was explained. Later I had faith that if I didn't understand the first explanation, that other students would ask the questions I needed, and they always did ... until college.

By that time I couldn't bring myself to raise my hand and admit that I was confused, and I didn't want to slow the other students down the way my learning had been slowed for so many years. I really made things a lot harder on myself than they needed to be.

I hope to prevent my children from falling into such a trap, even if I have to convince them to ask questions they already know the answers to... just for practice. Of course, the issue may not come up if they are grouped with intellectual peers from an early age, with instruction at an appropriate level.

My mom tells stories of me coming home from first and second grade asking her why the other children were so dumb... and why couldn't they read well? So... I did ask the question.

I was the kind of child that always said what I was thinking. I highly valued the truth and thought I needed to make sure I said it, even if I should have kept my mouth shut. I wasn't very popular.

Oh yes, I know that feeling, I had both sides of the coin at different times for different subjects.

I do think children see difference, even if nobody says a thing!

Wow - this was my childhood too. I seriously thought something was wrong with me for years. There was nothing in terms of GT ID where I went to school.

I remember never being able to relate well to my classmates until college. I thought I was not cool, or didn't fit in, all the painful early adolescent things that girls go through to some extent... However, I remember having a distinct sense that I didn't fit. That IQ talk would have really benefited me at age twelve, when I didn't care about all the things that the other girls cared about (cheerleading, boys, etc.) I tried to force myself to be like them. I never felt comfortable in my own skin. I hope that knowing about their giftedness will help my girls to be themselves and not try to fit into the mold!

I am not gifted. I live with children and a spouse who are all gifted.

I cannot tell you how eye-opening this article was for me. I have spent a good deal of the past two and a half decades often being on the receiving end of a spouse or children who were frustrated and even at times disdainful that I couldn't grasp something as quickly as they did. All too often, I've heard from my spouse, "Come on. It's not that hard. I know you can do better than that."

I have always blamed it on a sense of superiority, but it was a real revelation that, in fact, it has likely stemmed from the belief that he was normal, so I ought to be able to be "normal", too.

With our children, we shared with them the results of their IQ tests, and I've had many a conversation with them over the years about being patient with others, finding ways to connect with peers, and that their IQ was only one part of who they were, not the defining characteristic that meant they had to do better, be better, or be judged on their capabilities for all things. I tried to make sure they knew they were loved and accepted.

Thanks for sharing!

I was painfully aware that I was "smart," from my own observations, from my family continually saying it, and from having my IQ score shared with me at some point. What I didn't understand was how that contributed to my difficulty connecting with kids my age socially. I've come to understand that through this forum, and it's helping me be a better parent.

This article was a bit of an eye opener for me in my adult work life. There are lots of processes that people tend to talk in circles around in my work, and in most cases, they seem fairly linear and easy to break down to me. I've always thought I was missing something more subtle that others understood. I guess I should stop looking for subtleties that don't exist!