Well, some people say that elementary school is supposed to be fairly easy so that kids feel confident and competent and like going to school. But, I think, these same people are assuming that elementary students are actually learning new things, even if it's not hard for them to learn.
Personally, my action-point is when a child isn't actually learning anything new. Otherwise, I agree, what's the point? If they are not learning anything new at school, they are additionally not learning that a teacher is someone who teaches you things, that practice makes a difference, that it's okay not to know everything, that school is a place to learn things. They are learning to hide what they know to fit in, or if they don't hide what they know then either the teacher or the other kids won't like it. They are learning that success does not depend at all on hard work. They are learning that school is for socializing. They are learning ways to occupy their minds, appropriately or inappropriately, while others are learning. And, if they find inappropriate ways to occupy their minds too often, they are learning that they are trouble-makers and that they aren't good at school.
So, IMHO, I'm not sure that #2 is a reasonable option. I'm assuming that the teacher at the conference was fine with the status quo? I think, first and foremost, that you should talk with her again, saying something like you've had a chance to really think about things you discussed at the conference and you were wondering if you could discuss things a little further. I think that sometimes you have to play the game a bit, start with the conversation, let the teacher know you and/or your child are not happy with the way things are, and that you were wondering what could be done to make school fit a little better. We've found often that teachers will assess up to end of the current grade-level, but it never occurs to them so actually see how much a child knows. Ask for your child to be given the end of the year tests now. And if he does well, ask that he be given the end of the year tests for the next grade up. Ask if they can do both an ability test and an achievement test, to see exactly what you're dealing with. Be prepared to bring up several options with which you'd be somewhat satisfied (acclerated work in the classroom, subject acceleration, grade acceleration, etc.) and know that they teacher probably never even thought of other options since the teacher thought things were "fine." You can suggest testing first to see if any action is warranted or you can suggest trying the remedies first to see if that changes any behavioral, social, or academic issues.
I'm of two minds about afterschooling. Sometimes it works for us (when the kids don't have other homework or are just in the mood) and sometimes it doesn't (when they just don't want to do anything extra after having to make it through their 7-hour day, easy as it is). And, because I have mixed feeling about it, sometimes I ask my kids if they want to do a little extra learning, and sometimes I just encourage them to play outside. I think consistency is better, though.
I think homeschooling is a great option, too, although I haven't tried it. I think people who do it are brave and that it's a great option to really tailor learning to your child. We've discussed doing it several times with each of my kids for different reasons, but just haven't made the leap. Certainly we know that our kids would learn a lot more at home in less time and it would open up all kinds of possibilities, and that's exciting to me. It can be hard, though, to go against the norm. But, in our family, for now, we think we want our kids to have some of the stereotypical school things eventually, like football games and dances and band.
So, as with everyone, in our family it's a balance and a continual work in progress. For now we're satisfied with DS13's placement at the age-appropriate grade, although he is the youngest in his grade. We're mostly pleased with DD10's early entrance and subsequent grade acceleration, although we're beginning to advocate for another math acceleration. And, we're tolerating DS8's placement after one grade skip even though the only appropriate academics are in his subject-accelerated math because, for now, we're just not ready to stir the pot, and he's happy to occasionally afterschool.
Have you talked about the options with your DS? He may not even know there
are options and might be relieved to hear it.
Sorry for the novel, but you said you wanted opinions!
