Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Learning Environments Seriously considering home school, finally.

After many years of considering it, I think we are going to take the plunge to home school our ds11 in January.

I will have to fit this in around work, etc., but I think it is doable.

He was called to the principal's office on Friday and told he wrote an essay on his last test that offended the teacher. I asked him what specific statements were offensive, did he use bad words? Did he say the teacher was stupid? Nope, just that the teacher thought it was rude (the principal thought it was too sarcastic) and he said he thought the book was stupid and he didn't like it. I called the principal but have not heard back.

I had already sent the teacher a note about the book being pretty boring for him, she said he was misbehaving -- turns out he was making origami in class to keep himself from misbehaving, and was surprised to find out this was not acceptable. This book is a somewhat depressing coming-of-age book about a young girl. The next book up is a very depressing coming-of-age book about a young girl, during a war. (no, not the classic one you're thinking of).

The teacher has taken this class which is supposed to be his area of greatest strength and is making him feel like a failure; they are supposed to read every evening. If he forgets his book the next day, the table he is at gets punished, and he says 'they all hate me', because he's forgotten his book twice in two months. I was already going to ask the teacher to think of some other way to take points away from ds without making the other kids ostracize him.

She has taken this subject that is supposed to be his area of greatest strength and is making him feel like a failure; he is pretty sensitive to social isolation, and she's making him feel like a complete outcast. He's extremely courteous, she even noted this on his interim report card; he's very much a rule-follower, and she has apparently been asking them to use their 'own voices' in their writing -- well apparently none of this matters, or she is willfully misunderstanding his intentions. What kind of adult takes the writings of an 11 year old boy so personally as to be offended? Surely this isn't the first scathing review of a modern 'classic' that she's read?
Why wouldn't a real principal tell that teacher to get over herself and just address it by speaking to him herself?

Worst case, he was probably kind of snotty in his writing, but he was on the verge of tears in the principal's office and I have finally had it with their lofty speeches about how to get kids excited about school but their actual pettiness and by-the-book bullsh*t.

They've done 1 experiment in science class so far.
They're still working on rounding in math. ROUNDING.
(advanced 6th grade math, mind you)
He's learning how to slice bagels in his technical class. (actually this is probably one of the classes where he's actually learning new stuff)
No chance for foreign language for another 2 years.

I just think we can do much much better.

Sounds very exciting! Are you planning to 'deschool' first or jump right in?
Smiles
Grinity

take it from the latest *reluctant* homeschooler, you CAN do better!

I don't know what your other school options might be, but we decided on an independent study option from our district (so I don't have to buy any books and we have other resources available). I can keep Butter (DD8) on track with district standards and timeline, in case we decide to go back, but she doesn't have to do any busywork and can read whatever books she wants...she's been accepted to the drawing class (6th grade +) so she will spend 3 HOURS doing art on Friday mornings. We are VERY HAPPY.

I think if you think you can make it work, go for it! For sure he will get more out of self directed reading, helping prepare meals at home...and Butter is going to start a free online french lesson Monday, you can probably find one too. And the deschooling...leave lots of time for daydreaming....

Sounds like a good call, tbh. I'm sorry school didn't manage to be the better option, but look forward to hearing how homeschooling goes for you.

thanks all; I am feeling good about the decision, so I think it must be the right one. somewhat concerned about keeping up social connections, but that really wasn't much helped by school anyway, so I am hopeful.
Grinity -- yes, I am definitely considering at least a couple weeks of 'unschooling' to help ds get back to himself.
Just batting around ideas with hims for art and language arts he was very excited so, again, things are looking ok.

2gg - DH mentioned there is a 'partial enrollment' option that seems to be available, but the only course dh mentioned keeping would be chorus, and it's just not worth it. And I can only imagine that he wouldn't qualify for one reason or another.

Now mainly wondering whether to put this through 'asap', or wait til end of semester/christmas.
Any thoughts on taking this slow at this point?

Talk with your boy about where they're at at school, what they've already studied this year, what else he thinks they're going to study at school this year, even if you already know. This will help set the stage for a sense of scale and timeline of how much work you're going to be doing at homeschool to make him more prepared when it's time to get started. Btdt as a kid.

None of my business--but I'll give you my opinion anyway! If it were me, I'd leave school right now, and just read books and bake and make homemade Christmas presents and do some messy experiments in the kitchen....and then jump into something a little more structured, if that's what he and you are wanting, in January--New Year, New Beginning. Just start your "holidays" a little bit early this year; he'll have fun and feel supported, you'll have fun and have a little more time to gather up ideas about how you want to approach homeschooling and to gather up materials to use, too.

Hope all goes well for all of your family, Chris--

peace
minnie

So an 11yo boy was asked to write an essay about a depressing coming-of-age girl's book in his own voice, he did as he was asked, and he was punished for it. Did you suggest that perhaps the teacher could pick something he's less likely to detest next time? Or could she communicate the message, "Write in your own voice, but voice my opinions" more clearly next time?

I agree with minnie here... since you're talking about a de-schooling period anyway, there's no better time than the present.

On 2gift's comment, my DD homeschooled last year (she's eligible for the gifted program this year, though we're not very happy with it so far, and a return to homeschooling is currently back on the table), and Wednesdays were art day, where that was the only thing they did (apart from an outside Spanish class, because that's when it was offered) all day. One of the projects they did was a color wheel, where DD was presented with blue, yellow, and red paints, and got to mix her own colors to fill in the rest of the color wheel. It's still on the wall in our entrance hall, along with a few other color-mixing projects.

Fast forward one year, and DD's 1st grade class did a color wheel. This one involved a sheet of paper with different circles, which gave instructions to color this circle red, this one red-orange, etc. Ye gods.

Your son will enjoy his new freedom, which can include freedom from draconian group punishments and freedom from depressing, boring (to boys) female-centric YA lit

In case this is helpful: I developed DS11's reading list after looking at the curriculum and summer reading lists of our local upper crust private boys' school. The books are much more male-friendly and accessible.

Another idea: make the lit more meaningful by tying it in with social studies/history. For example, read an age appropriate version of Gilgamesh while studying ancient civ. Now that's a story a boy can love. Friendship, battles, a hero's journey. For WWII try The Art of Keeping Cool and Code Talker instead of the usual fare.

Find some excellent local resources: homeschool groups (inclusive groups are usually more academically oriented), science centers, parks and recreation offices, and libraries often have activities and classes for HS kids.

Enjoy your journey!

I vote leave now. Start the holidays early...

We're actually doing this independent study option because I was nervous about letting her totally unschool. We didn't know if we would want to go to the local school after the holidays, but at this point, I'm keeping Butter at home at least the rest of the year.

If you feel guilty, you could always throw a book you think would be "good for him" at him and use that as a vocab, grammer, literature and character analysis assignment. Or make him watch some History channel them report back.

Also, google "gifted home schoolers forum" and you can find a local homeschool group...that might be a starting place for a replacement choir