Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Age or Ability Specific Forums Elementary School Slacking?

Unfortunately, the only time my son is around other high-achieving peers is when he is in his accelerated math class - and he is still just breezing by in the class. Otherwise, all the kids are all placed together (and I have tried for YEARS to get him more, but to no avail). I have taken away his phone, i-pod, the use of the computer, etc. but that still doesn't seem to work (and trust me because of our financial situation he would have none of these things without his grandparents). I am also a lot to blame when it comes to checking his work - I have 4 other children and between activities and homework life is just crazy. Plus last year his teachers told me to leave all the reponsibility up to him and he would have to suffer the consequences if he didn't put any effort in or would forget assignments (which happened all the time), etc.

I think the idea of a male teacher is a great idea and somebody actually mentioned this to me yesterday - and told me one of my son's teachers that he thought would be good fit. I also have an interview with Big Brothers and Big Sisters on Tuesday to see if we can find a mentor there. We have had a lot of family problems at home over the last few years and this may help with that and maybe help him also find his passion again.

Thanks so much for all of your input - and yes, wouldn't it be nice to skip over MS .

Jules -

Can I just chime in one more time to say that while the advice to leave all the responsibility to the child and they'll eventually care may work for some kids, for others it's total bull pucky. My middle child never cared and only did the minimal to ensure passing his classes all the way through high school. I finally gave up taking things away, because that didn't help, either. What I chose what to pick my battles and let go of the rest, because I could not make him care.

The up side? He's now a freshman in college, accepted in the college of Mechanical Engineering, and is carrying a 4.0. I can hardly believe that this kid is the same one who drove me nuts with his lack of motivation.

All I can say is that as a mom, I finally gave up on the level of contention that was hurting the relationship with my son, although it never stopped annoying me that he wouldn't try.

I have no idea if my course of action is the right one, but I do know for a fact that letting a kid carry the responsibility is not a sure thing.

Good luck - and hang in there.

kcab - great idea on looking up and showing my son what grades and classes college athletes need to maintain to play sports. Also, I'm hoping that my son will soon find another interest beside social activities soon that might use his brain . But until then I guess I'll just keep suggesting things. And yes, he definitely doesn't want to do any "extra" math since as he says he is already being "challenged". Funny when they think that is what being challenged is.

ABQMom - I am definitely at the point that I have to back off because it is ruining our relationship - and time is just going by way too fast for that to be the way he remembers our relationship. And your son gives me hope that it can all work out - even though I still have 7 more years of being totally crazy - what's the difference as my kids think I'm crazy anyways .

So thank you to everyone for your advice. Gotta love this forum!