Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums General Discussion 1st Grade ... Others in possible denial?

So why do I feel like crying???? Wondering how first grade is going with everyone else...Is someone out there relating to this???
My sweet DD just had a major meltdown last night and I feel absolutely terrible. I know what I need to do...testing (sigh, the expense!) to figure out where we're at, but I am still so exhausted emotionally from getting her brother grade skipped and everything that came with that. I've been seeing the signs for awhile now, but have chosen to ignore it until I saw her crying last night about how "easy" school was. She really seemed distressed and now so am I!!! Sometimes I feel a little warped in my thinking of what a first grader should know etc ... but then I look at my daughter and think hmmmmm ... My common sense is telling me that what I've been seeing is probably a little different from a typical six year old. I guess I need reassurance that what my daughter and I am feeling is not completely wacko. If I tried to explain these things to my regular friends, they would look at me like I had five heads. So here is a sampling from the past few days ... I received an email from her teacher..."She is really going to keep me on my toes. She is a very deep thinker..." Yesterday for show and tell she drew her thoughts on Einsteins Theory of Relativity (after watching a special on Einstein on the History Channel...her favorite TV show) She is fascinated with the game Rush Hour (not jr. level) and is almost done with the intermediate level ... She came home crying that her spelling words were "go, it, and a" and she can't have words like "caterpillar" She's upset that she can't continue to learn multiplication like we do at home ... on and on and on ... I know what I need to do, but I just don't want to wahhhh ... and then what if she's not??? I just hate being and feeling like one of "those parents"

p.s. thanks for letting me vent

I feel for you. I remember hating first grade so much I wanted to drop out of school. The show and tell one cracked me up. I can't tell you how many times I have had to do things in front of class only to have everyone's head tilt to the side about a minute in. (like,huh?) She sounds way more ahead than I was and I hate to tell you, I kind of checked out and was a massive underachiever. F's on homework and busy work. A's on tests. Makes for a mediocre student. My DS is only in K right now but, while he is way ahead reading at 3rd grade+ level doing multiplication and negative numbers all on his own, he enjoys the structure of school so much he doesn't mind doing the 'baby' work. Well I guess it would really be baby work for him since he did it when he was a baby, lol.
I hope you find a good solution, GL!

Advocacy really takes a lot out of one...it is so wearying. But at least you have an observant teacher.
Step one is to set up a meeting and see if you can adress the particular issues ASAP.

Will the teacher allow you to send in a seperate spelling list? Seperate Math worksheets? Seperate reading books?

Ask the Teacher: "I think my daughter needs a level of material usually presented in higher grades. For that I need to speak to the principle. Would you support my suggestion that DD go to X grade for math and Y grade for language arts? What do you think is the best way to met her academic needs. It breaks my heart when she sobs and cries about school."
Love and More Love,
Grinity

Clearly, she needs more than she is getting in first grade currently. Her teacher already recognizes that she is very bright. This is very important, and I think you should take advantage of this before your dd "checks out". I agree that you need testing, but I think you could make a case for in-class differentiation at the very least right now. I would bet that if you e-mailed her teacher back now while she is still blown away by your dd, telling her what you just told us, including how upset your daughter is and that she is crying at home over the lack of learning new things, that the teacher might be willing to at least do some assessment to find her approximate instructional level. Does the school use the NWEA MAP? If so, the regular MAP test (not just the Primary Grades test) might give valuable data that would allow the school to see what she is ready to learn next. If you want to walk in with some ammunition without asking anything of the school, and without spending a ton of money, you might have your dd take the DORA and the DOMA at home and bring in the results.

I hope this helps.

Cecilia,
I'm sorry your daughter is having a tough time. I can relate to what you are going through.

My DS also started 1st grade this year. Last week he commented: "The teacher asks such silly, easy questions. Why doesn't she ask us more difficult questions? I want to learn something new."

He's also having problems finding friends this year. He has told me several times that he feels "different" and "odd" around the other kids.

In the past he preferred to play with girls (I think because the boys are too rough and not verbal enough for him), but many of the girls he played with last year now only want to play with other girls. He told me several times that he's unhappy at school, because he can't find a friend who he's comfortable with, and he's alone at lunch.
He has not been formally identified as gifted, but has all the signs of a HG+ kid. He is very verbal, imaginative and inquisitive, and his passions include geography, animals, art and architecture. He likes making up stories and comes up with great ideas for inventions. He says he wants to be an inventor when he grows up.
I think his social skills are okay- he is an only child, but had lots of play dates last year, and he is very extroverted. (He was very popular last year and gets along with other children.)

We live in a high socio-economic area (so I would've expected to find more kids like him here), and the kids at his school get lots of extra science, art and music programs. They'll place the kids in different reading groups this year, so I'm not worried about that. (He probably reads at a 3rd grade level.)
Right now I'm worried about him fitting in. I sent a message to his teacher, and she said she'll try to help him.

Good luck to you.

Hello everyone and thanks so much for your replies. It always helps knowing someone here understands. Calmon, wow! your son and my daughter would make a perfect pair! He sounds absolutely delightful! Aculady, I just ordered the DORA/DOMA tests. Thank you for the suggestion. I had never heard of them before. Is anyone familiar with Dr. Ruf's talentIgniter assessment? I thought that might be a good starting point as well. You are all right...I do have to talk to this teacher soon. I'm going to send out an email today (dreading it) I'll keep you posted. Have a good day everyone!

I've been pretty underwhelmed so far by my little one's first grade experience. He's reading at least a grade level above and he does his brother's third grade math. I asked the teacher yesterday how he was doing and she paused and said, "he was talking about penises in class so I took him outside and explained that we don't talk about the penis at school."
OK, so he's a little boy, LOL! I felt like asking her, did you notice he reads well? At least half of the class isn't reading yet. The little girl who sits next to him only speaks French and the other side is the wall. Sigh... I think alot of first grade is social again, making sure you sit quietly in your seat, etc.

Hi Cecilia-
Hang in there. You had to blaze the path for your son, and it took a lot of time and energy. I don't blame you for having a moment -- you JUST finished getting your son more appropriate challenge. The upside is that now the school has gotten to know you and your family.

Every parent I know is one of "those parents" -- trying to find the best fit for their child so they are happy, challenged and stretched at school. We are all looking for the same thing -- just like Goldilocks. (not too hard, not too easy, just about right).

It will probably be easier the second time around. Usually if the school personnel hears that the child has a gifted sibling they move things along. That's been my experience.

I also wouldn't worry too much about her not testing high enough based on what you've said.