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    Joined: Aug 2011
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    "They don't understand the beauty and love involved in homeschooling a child who is gifted but has mild disabilities. They think I should put him in our small town school and deal with bullies and one size fits all education because it is good enough for their kids."

    Thanks, Lori. That's a beautiful story about your parents and congratulations for having the courage to do the right thing for your son.

    People don't understand, until they understand.

    Good luck to your son, too. Major surgeries for young people are generally safer because they are in better overall health, I suppose. My mom had a genetic blood clotting condition that made her surgeries much more risky. Maybe his doctors could give him some more information or help involve him in the decision making processes to relieve his anxiety.


    JennyM

    Please send PM if I've been unclear. Many thoughts - so little time.
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    Originally Posted by Kate
    Originally Posted by islandofapples
    Sure I am. My mom and stepdad just came over tonight (they hardly ever do) and right before she left she snidely said: "Maybe you should just stop at one (kid.) That way you'll have more time to work on your website."
    I said: "Maybe you should have stopped at 0, so you'd have more time to shop."
    Her: "And maybe you'd have time to clean your house."

    She goes on and on and on about my dirty house when she comes over. Last time she was complaining all day about a salad I made. DH doesn't even want her over half the time because she is like this. She offered to come watch DD tomorrow but ONLY if I clean my house while she here. I need to take her up on the offer, but I feel all wrong and irritated after every time I see her.


    Eek! I have the same mom! I feel irritated and wrong when my mom is around too. My mom somehow raised two kids and had a perfect house and perfectly manicured nails that she did herself (!) and made homemade food from scratch for every meal, etc. etc.

    My mom tells me I need a housekeeper since I work outside the home and my stay-at-home husband obviously isn't up to the task! She says "good thing you only have one child" also. She is critical about everything even though in my real life/world I am a very well respected professional and a GREAT mom if I do say so myself!

    My mom has gotten stuck in her development towards becoming a full person, so it helps me to think of her as a 5 year old when she starts talking like that. It used to really irritate me, but I can visualize her in a different way and it helps.

    I am not the kind of mom she was. We are not the kind of family I grew up in. We have made our own way.

    I just wanted you to know you are not alone! I envy my friends who have moms that are really helpful and considerate. One of my friend's mom periodically cleans her house for her in exchange for a different favor. Wow.

    I get the guilt thing. I have sort of a traumatic story about how I got over mine, but the guilt is mostly gone. I'm happy with what I do now and happy happy happy with my family!

    kate smile

    We do have the same mom! I also think of my mom in terms of being a little kid (my therapist said my mom probably mentally sort of is). I don't say this to her and wouldn't, of course.

    I remember she said something particularly nasty about / to my step-dad and I later told her she should not say things like that and I carefully explained to her how the things she said to him could wound him. She got all quiet and asked me how I know these things. I generally tell her my therapist taught me (whether or not that happens to be true). I did go for a year after I married DH, because I wanted to learn how to not abuse my family like she did.

    It is kind of sad that my mom acts this way.
    She came over the other day and I told her that I feel like she is my teenage sister a lot or that I am the parent by the way she acts (and even the way my dad acts sometimes.) She actually took that in stride and didn't object. Then I said I know she is frustrated because she wants to be creative. That she feels like everything she does is meaningless and that she lashed out at us growing up because she felt depressed about it. And that she is afraid to do anything (like start a business doing something artistic) for fear of failing at it.

    Her immediate response was "It is only worth doing something if it is PERFECT."

    Ok, well, now I know where I got it from.

    Last edited by islandofapples; 09/08/11 09:31 PM.
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