Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums General Discussion Swimming

We live out in California and the "drowning season" has started. We start hearing about kids who drown in their backyard pool. It's so sad and generally preventable.
I think, ideally, all children would learn how to swim.
Private lessons are usually the most efficient way to get them swimming. My 6 year old was terrified of swimming- we started at 3/4 years old and he would not get in the pool with me or the instructor! They finally gave us our money back for the lessons, saying they "never" had to do that before.
Eventually we got him to try a little bit. Fast forward 2 years- this weekend he won 3 medals and the 6-U boys high point trophy on the swim team! He's so excited. So keep chipping away at swimming.

We live in Florida, the state with the most drownings per capita (think lots of pools and lots of beaches). We never wanted to do the "safe start" system, where they basically do 10 minutes daily and teach very young infants to learn to float. We wanted to wait until they were old enough to lear to swim properly. We did private lessons for each of our three kids and think it is the only way to go, if it is at all possible for you financially.

Each of my kids did three or four weeks of private lessons (four days of 30 minutes each) the summer that they turned three. ALL of them screamed; they all have HATED to be taught to float on their back, and they cry while swimming to the wall. My daughter probably cried the most, and wouldn't stop kicking when she was on her back, so it took her a long time to figure out the back float. That said, at the end of the lesson, if you asked her if she had fun, she would usually (not always) say yes.

By the end of the summer that they turned three, my older two kids were good swimmers (my daughter, who cried the most, was the best). She was an absolute fish by the summer that she turned four. Before she turned four, she could dive to the bottom of a 10 foot diving well to pick up a dive toy, and was swimming at her summer camp with the 7/8 year olds because she was the only younger kid that passed the test to swim in the big pool. Now, at 4 1/2, she can swim all four strokes (though her breast stroke and butterfly arms are marginal), and is COMPLETELY independent in the water (though of course we still watch her like a hawk).

Anyway, my point is that she was my biggest cryer, but she has no memory of it and we (and she!) absolutely love that she is such a strong swimmer at such a young age. I am not a big believer in letting my kids cry or forcing them to do things that they think they don't want to do, but I have to say that in this case the results speak for themselves. They love the water and are great swimmers.

It's odd, but I don't remember screaming about the back-floating thing, although my mother might tell differently if she were here, as I have a lousy memory of my childhood. I almost drowned when I was 8, and had to be rescued from the Green River in Utah, and my mother took me to swimming lessons (beginner) for three years after that. I never did learn to float on my back, because every time my feet went out from under me, I panicked. But I don't remember screaming about it. Maybe I just blocked that part out.

Tomorrow is the last lesson. And I do mean last (for this year, anyway).

He's no longer screaming, as I said, but now his perfectionism has kicked in. He cries at the end of the class because he can't do it. I keep telling him to "do your best" and we are okay with that, but he seems not to understand that he isn't going to be an Olympic-quality swimmer after eight lessons.

I suppose I need to step back and give it a break this year. I hope next summer he is more mature and that will make a difference.

We had swim classes for ds7 when he was just 18 months and then again at 3. I don't know if they helped or not. He went through a phase of being scared to put his face in the water between 3 and 4. By 5 he was over it and could go underwater. His swimming skills at this point are very basic. I had lessons at the 'Y' wen I was 6 and 7 and am a ok swimmer. I think lessons can be very efficient.

My ds7 decided he does not want formal lessons this summer so we are taking the slow road -- "Mommy and Daddy lessons" I think trust is a big issue for him since he had a camp counselor force him to a pool when he wasn't ready (at 4). I think it helps him to feel more secure because we jointly decide on what to learn and how.

like homeschooling/unschooling swimming we take a very relaxed, chil-led approach. I hope this will be the summer when everything clicks and he gets really good at it. It will give me peace of mind and he will have more fun.


Ametrine - How much time does your ds get to spend in a pool without lessons being involved?

In any case, it sounds like you have made a lot of progress even since the very first lesson! Take heart. As the other posts have said, sometimes it just takes a while.
Good luck

Thanks~

He hasn't had opportunity to spend any time in a regular pool, having only a "kiddie" plastic one on our deck. We have decided to spend a few days this summer at the pool with him, just to have fun. I think you're right about the forcing before ready becoming a trust issue. We don't want that happening to ds.

Speaking of forcing...today the last lesson included a trip down the waterslide. My son went up the ladder to go down. The instructor picked him up and placed him on the slide and down he went...face first into the water. He came up screaming because water went up his nose and into his eyes.

On the way home, I asked him if he wanted to go down the slide and he said no, that he changed his mind. I think the instructor didn't realize that he had decided it was too scary (it is loud) and set him down anyway. I was disappointed to see that the child before him (shorter) was allowed to go down on an instructor's lap. With my son's fear of water up his nose and his history of screaming over it, what were they thinking?

I blame myself also...I saw him on his way to the slide and by the time I got there, he was already up and in the line next to go.

No more lessons this year!