Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums General Discussion Swimming

I know that this may not have anything to do with gifted, but I want to know if anyone else has had a child who screamed through and tried to get away from their first swimming lesson.

Just before going in, my son (4.4) said he didn't want to go to the pool. I asked him why and he said that it wasn't safe.

We live on a river that runs fast and deep over six months of the year and since he was about 6 months old, I've shown him that river and told him that it was a river and it was not safe to go in it; that he doesn't come near it without mommy or daddy.

So looks like that instruction is coming back to bite me in the nether regions...*sigh*

Tomorrow is his second of eight lessons. I'm forcing him to go.

I was sweating like a stuck pig today trying to sit on my hands when he was screaming for me.

were you at our swimming lesson this morning??? I need to mention this is our second session of lessons! He sxreamed the first lesson in the last session too. Btw.. ds is 5 1/2.

This was our first lesson. We live in Oregon, so unless by some freaky reason we are neighbors...

I was lucky to sit next to a woman, (she was a teacher; not swimming teacher, though), who told me that if I let ds scream his way into not coming back tomorrow, that I would probably never get him back into a pool.

So we came home and I wrote him a schedule. He now has a blue sheet of construction paper on our fridge with the numbers 1-8 on it. I wrote "swimming lessons" at the top and "surprise!" at the bottom. In between he has the numbers to cross off as he finishes each lesson.

Since he's such a numbers guy, I'm hoping the appeal of crossing them off to get to the surprise will be a motivating factor when he's feeling less than brave.

I'll tell one of the instructors what he told me about the water not being safe and how I've talked to him about our river.

My DS8 had a great fear of the water at that age, and probably for about the same reasons -- we live on a river too, and so he had heard all about it for years. But he was (and is) a scaredy-cat about a lot of things when he's not familiar with them. We are planning on getting him swimming lessons this year, and he tells me that he doesn't want them and seems afraid, even though he likes to go to the rec center pool and work his way around the edges, holding on. We shall see how it goes.

I would totally agree with this. Something just this spring clicked with my 10 year old who has been super slow to do everything in the water, and warm pool lessons private or with a very small group definitely helped (we've done both). Now I would feel comfortable sending him to a pool or beach party.

My ds has been in the pool at least a few times a year since infancy and loved it. However, he was always "in control" (i.e., playing on the steps with an inner tube around his waist). We sensed that he had some anxieties because he really resisted when we encouraged him to stretch his comfort zone.

At age 4, we put him in a beginning swimming class for 4 year olds. He clung to the side of the pool and refused to do anything. So at 5, I put him in the Mom/Tot swim class where I could get in the pool with him. In 3 feet of water, his shorts weren't even wet after 10 minutes. Why? He was climbing all over my head and shoulders, screaming at the top of his lungs, and grabbing everything (my hair, the straps holding up my suit, etc) in an full-blown panic. We went to the pool every day last summer, and there were several days that I expected us to get kicked out of class. (His screaming not only completely disrupted our class, but the classes at the other end of an outdoor Olympic-size pool.) It was awful! But we did make progress. The good news? We went to the pool this summer, and it's already sooo much better than last year. He's 6, and we're doing the Mom/Tot class again this summer (---ability grouping at its finest!:) ). My hope is that he will be ready for a group class without me by next summer.

There is hope! I think it takes logging lots and lots and lots of pool hours and continually but gently stretching his comfort zone, but it will be so worth it. My son overcoming his fear and having to work hard at something are life lessons that are absolutely invaluable.

My gifted kids can be very sensitive and thinks about things in bigger ways than we might expect, then needs my help to deal with it. The maturity to interpret can be behind the intellect.

As a preschooler, my son put together an idea that since our house was old and a bit worn out it might get explosed like the one in the kids construction video.

I know it sounds crazy, but toddler pool helped my son. When he was about 4 and refused to do anything with pool, we suggested him to go in the toddler pool, or warm pool on lap. We also spend lot of time just walking around the pool. After few days, he asked if he can go in the BIG pool. We also took him to pool with his friends. In the beginning he just sat on the step and watched them. I would second the private lesson; try to find someone your son will feel comfortable with. There are many books for kids which talk about water fear, which might help too.

From my personal experience I would suggest not pushing him to go in until he is ready. My son is now 6 and it is hard to get him out from the pool.

Good Luck!!

okay...I couldn't agree MORE with waiting until the child is ready! At 4 and 5, my now 9 year old WOULD NOT let anyone touch her in the pool for lessons. She didn't throw a fit, just wouldn't comply with anyone touching her. SHE had to be in control. The teachers just played with her in the water. By the end of age 5, she was willing to put her head under for a prize...but only if SHE did it. And she got the prize from me! We made a big thing out of her small improvements. At 6, she still wasn't that big on going under, but with goggles, she was willing...AND she HAD to be in the small pool. The big pool had an area that was over her head and it made her nervous to leave the wall. The teacher realized this, and put her in th 3 ft pool that was even all around. She immediately swam. Once she realized that she had fun swimming, her fears became less and less.

The more fun the pool was, the less worried she was.
Last summer, at 8, she could jump in the deep end and touch the bottom of the pool. She can swim and back float. She STILL has trouble going under...and a good fitting pair of goggles is a must. She always takes them off and dries them every few minutes...but, I know that this too shall pass! WAIT until he is ready. Bring him to watch other happy kids swimming. Tell him that he can join the some day, when he is older. Or try restricting him to only being allowed to use a floaty...He might try to prove you wrong.

In any case, if he sees other children having fun. And You maybe have fun...he might chose to join you on his own free will. Completely ignore him!

The completely ignoring thing worked for my daughter at 5. She was scared to death of dogs...big and small. So, we visited a pet store. DH and younger daughter, and I made such a fuss over this little puppy...OH! IT's soooo cute! Can I hold it?! Oh! We just LOVE him!...Anytime DD5 talked we ignored her for the puppy. I swear...20 minutes later, she asked to hold it!

Try it! Its crazy...but it works...with swimming, it won't be 20 minutes...maybe more like 6 weeks, but when he feels like he is missing out...he will want to join too!