Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Identification, Testing & Assessment Telling kids their IQ score?

Thanks so very much for your answers. I love this forum. I love your answers. I agree that at 8, it's very very probable that he will "leak" the info. I too feel that he should know at some point but I'm not ready for him to know now. But I'm glad I asked because there's so much food for thought I hadn't considered as well. Thank you!

Yes, this is how I aim to approach discussing it when I do.

And it's occurred to me the expert I mentioned in my earlier post on this thread was talking about telling them they're gifted, not IQ scores.

Children probably have a LOT of confidential information that is relevant and important to them as people-- medical, financial, etc. that they aren't emotionally ready for when they are young children.

I didn't know my own SB-IQ score until I was in high school. Until then, I was "gifted" and that was enough information. I mean, I was 'gifted enough' that it was always highly self-evident anyway.

It's very hard to HAVE that number and keep it from a PG child, however; I found my information, I wasn't told.

I also remember the 'gee-whiz' IQ testing that my enrichment class did when I was about a freshman in high school-- my score was high enough that the teacher initially (very obviously) assumed that I was "cheating" somehow, or had done that precise assessment before. (I hadn't-- I just thought all those nifty logic puzzles were a hoot, YK?) I definitely didn't like feeling like a circus freak in front of my peers, and that number (in the 150s) set me apart from the other kids in that classroom for the next three years. Not a happy place for an adolescent.

Anyway. DD has a long history of ferreting out medical information and other data that she decides she wants (like our state tax statements, our mortgage payment, medical test reports, etc... ). This is a large part of the reason that we haven't HAD her tested. Because it seems improbable that we could keep the number from her... and also because I don't want her to experience what I (and my own father) did as a direct result of how remarkable that number seemed to others. She's an obviously HG kid, but she's a lot more than any number on any one day. I prefer that the other adults in her life see HER and not the number-- and this includes her teachers and school administrators.

I certainly don't want her feeling beholden to that number or entitled by it either one. When you are an adult-- nobody really cares about the number anyway. It's just a tool.

Now, we do talk about LOG, so that she has some idea why radical acceleration isn't necessary for a lot of OG students, and why "school is easy and fun" applies to optimally gifted people more than HG ones, etc.

So do you fear that your opinion of her will be altered by the numbers? If she was tested privately you are not obligated to give that information to teachers or administrators. To me it sounds like you are giving this a lot more power than it needs to have. Many of us have IQ test results for our kids and not one negative thing has happened as a result. Sure, taking out a billboard or passing the info around without thought is a bad idea.

I would never let my kids know their IQ scores. It does not matter, they still have to get the work done, when a child believes they are a genius it takes some internal motivation away. They can also tend to avoid the challenges. If school is too easy for them, ramp it up. All kids should sweat a bit with education, what can not happen is kids thinking everything is so easy because I am brilliant. This will not help them in the long run. To succeed in life it takes a lot more than IQ. At my kids school, everyone is brilliant, the ones who will succeed are the workers Small kids need to now they are supported and loved not that they are superior to the rest of the world. That is the recipe for a brat, trust me you do not want them telling you at age 13 you are an idiot. For a genius kid they need to come home and say wow school is hard, they have to work through hard times and come out the other side. Character formation and social nuances are needed too

I don't believe that the score matters, I just don't think it's fair for someone to hold that information about anyone and keep it from them long term. I'd like to think it can be presented in such a way that it wouldn't be a thing of wonder for all to be in awe of, just a piece of information that the person it applies to has a right to know. I don't imagine there are any kids who will suddenly turn in to a 'brat' on hearing the number without there being a whole lot of other contributing factors.

I don't think dd's IQ score does make her superior to the rest of the world and in our family effort, kindness and respect are what is rewarded and admired. When (and I can't say when 'when' will be) we tell her it's not like we'll be sitting at the dinner table saying 'well, you know you have an IQ of x, isn't that amazing. You're one in thousands. Aren't you special.' I can't say exactly what we would say as we're so far away from doing it, but as mentioned, it would be cased in the message that it is only meaningful in very particular and some what contrived ways. And, of course we'd continue the same message we have done with giftedness, which is it has no value without effort, kindness and respect.

Having said that - each family will know their kids best and will know if it's right for them. There might be factors which make it more appropriate not to tell, or hold on to the knowledge longer than others. I just don't think learning to learn and understanding the importance of effort will be negated by putting a number to the knowledge that you learn and think differently to others. Unless of course that is the message you're given (that it is a magic number). But we're all pretty clued up here - I doubt anyone's planning on giving that message in any way, shape or form.