We've had these issues for years. DD11 has outgrown it for the most part. DD9 still struggles. If it is a movie with a happy ending, we sometimes let her watch the end first. She seems to be able to get through some of the stressful stuff as long as she knows that it comes out ok. Using this method she has learned to love Miyazaki movies, i.e. Nausicaa, My Neighbor Totoro, Kiki's Delivery Service though she still can't handle Spirited Away. She finds them less disturbing for some reason.