I'm sorry for being so vague in my original post. This is what is going on:
He's in Montessori, ages 3-6. I thought this would be good for him, because he has very asychronistic development. I figured he can work on the stuff he is behind on, and yet have the opportunity to work ahead in the areas he excels in. I also liked the idea that it was a mixed age classroom because he always gravitates towards older kids. (Actually adults mostly.) He's mostly around DH & I so I think that's where that comes from.
Anyways, none of this is going as I planned. LOL.
First of all, we have had several talks with the director of the school, who is also the head teacher. She thinks DS may have ADD. I'll admit, it's crossed my mind from time to time, I don't really see him focus on one thing for very long. He will read books, and catalogs for hours, and he will do legos, but a lot of times he starts things and doesn't finish them, which is what they are seeing at school. HE alo wanders around the room all day and wont choose anything that he already knows. He only wants new presentations on works, and once a teacher presents something, he's not interested in it anymore.
I personally think that it's not ADD, he just isn't interested in the work. I'm not sure why, I would have loved it, but maybe that's part of my problem, I'm projecting.
Also, he is reluctant to do work without a teacher present. This is obviously a problem because he can't always have a teacher present. We all feel that he is still dealing with a little bit of seperation anxiety. The poor kid has had a lot of adjustments, I had twins in the summer, and then he started school for the first time in the fall. I think he just feels a little insecure.
The more pressing problem is that he's having problems with some other kids. He keeps saying that he is lonely at school, and there have been several "altercations" between him and other students.
This all makes me so sad because preschool is supposed to be fun, and DS isn't having fun. Sometimes he talks about stuff he did at school that he liked, but it's always special projects. He doesn't like the Montessori work. He has said from the beginning that he doesn't want to go, and that he likes it "a little bit." He says it's boring. He says lots of things are boring, so part of me thinks it's his stock answer but part of me thinks that maybe Montessori just isn't for him.
I did have a chance to observe him two weeks ago. I was there for an hour, 20 minutes of which he ate snack. The rest of the time, he wandered around a lot, but he did pick "work" to do. He would do it for a minute or two and put it back. He looked a little sad the whole time which really broke my heart. He wasn't feeling well, so I'm not sure if I got the true picture of his school day. He was really good though, he seemed uninterested in the fact I was there, he went about his business and didn't try to talk to me. When I was leaving he got a little teary and I asked him what was wrong. He said, "I just really don't want to be here today."
It took all my will power not to bring him home with me.
We had his IQ tested right before he turned 4, and the psych doing the evaluation recommended a gifted charter school for next year. He would technically be starting early, since he has a fall birthday, he should start in 2 years. His Montessori teacher feels that he isn't ready because of the attention issues, and he also has some fine motor problems, which he is in OT for now. The psych feels these will either resolve themselves by September, or won't be hard to deal with, since the teachers are used to dealing with gifted kids' quirks.
So, that's my long drawn out diatribe.
ETA: About the kind of Montessori it is, they are pretty hard core. But, they have skipped some things for DS, because they realize that he's so stubborn, he'd rather do nothing all day than something boring.
