The question I�m asking is really developmental I think. When do you start requiring a child to work for their academic achievement? At what point does social become less important than academic performance (if it does)? Is it enough in middle school to just be liked? Or is it important for her to be at her social developmental level?
I'm not sure that social ever becomes
less important than academic performance. A child needs to be happy and like school and want to be there, if only because they are there for so much of their lives. And, it may be enough in middle school to just be liked. I know that the social piece is something that the whole middle school concept is built around. But I would guess the question might be more or less a matter of your DD's personality. Does she seek challenge when left to her own devices? Does she need guidance from you to tackle challenges (in which case you might want to be there to help shepherd her through the process while she's still young and at home with you) or does she eventually gather up the courage and perseverance to tackle challenges on her own with little to no help from you (in which case she might be fine without an academically challenging adolescence)?
She is the kind of child who, when unchallenged, develops a resistance, and then in a very ADHD like way avoids the task, which makes her think she can�t do it, and it�s just a downward spiral. It only takes a little push to get her through.
This would make me want to slowly and gradually ramp up her level of challenge to help her develop less avoidance and more willingness to tackle difficult things. If HS is the way that you think you're heading, this would be something you could aim to work on with her without fear of social rejection or losing her status in the class as "the smart one."
