Hi mon,
I wanted to ask a few questions. You say that your DD is well-liked by her classmates but her best friends are her age-mates. Do you think it's because her interests and sensibilities are age-appropriate or do you think that she is just more used to her age-mate friends?
Also, how is it that your DD doesn't qualify for the GT program if the school saw fit to accelerate her? I know it's different in every district, but our district requires testing that reflects a much faster rate of learing at a much higher level than age-mates and acceleration is only allowed when the gifted program is deemed insufficient to meet the child's needs on it's own. Also, could you tell us a little about your SD's gifted program at the middle school level? Is it a one-hour gifted class or does it change the whole scope of the curriculum?
I was one of those people who was not challenged in school and then got to college with no study skills. There are worse things in life -- as I ended up being successful in college -- but I certainly based my choice of major on what came the most easilty to me rather than on the profession that I'd always dreamed of since some of those classes were harder to do well in. I assumed that since the classes were difficult I was not good at them, which isn't true. So, as a result, I have tried to get my kids into a school situation where they have to work a little bit and occasionally be frustrated a little bit when things don't come easily to them. In school I want them to learn new things and learn to work a bit.
I think this is something you could work on if you were to HS DD for a year. And maybe she would feel more comfortable with increased challenge and frustration in the safety and privacy of the HSing situation. I think it's fine to decellerate DD grade-wise if you think that's best, but IMO it would be important when she returns to school to advocate for appropriate work without the grade skip. Unfortunately, this isn't always the easy route to go, and you might end up having to find outside opportunities to encourage her to stretch her mind.
