Thanks, Sajechma and Blob! I appreciate the comments and hugs.
1. keep showing explicitly how you value yourself, and that we should all do that. Eg, saying you need to relax because you just love who you are, warts and all, and you want to treat yourself well. Children tend to accept their parents value system over time.
The following two are fairly common advice and I'm sure you must be doing, but it's worth repeating.
2. Show that you make mistakes now and then, and laugh it off.
3. Keep harping on the fact that mistakes are great because they tell us what we don't know. We homeschool so its easier to focus on his effort and learning process rather than the grade.
It's kind of comforting to know that DS isn't the only one like this. I do try hard to exhibit numbers 2 and 3 above, Blob, but I'm not so sure I've ever really thought of number 1. Thanks for posting it.
Just had a conversation this week with DH re: #2. He's really hard on mistakes, especially his own. He is also a big perfectionist. When DC do something laudible, he'll express his approval and then usually point out where they could have done it better. I'm trying to get him to temper that a bit, but it's a hard habit to break.
I think DS7 is also harder on himself because DS9 is hard to live up to. With them only being 2 years apart, I think his tendency to compare himself to his brother is probably common. I'm hoping to find something that DS7 enjoys that is "all his" if you know what I mean. He really seems to enjoy being in the expert role when he gets the opportunity. I'm hoping that may temper his need for "perfection" AND boost his self esteem.
Thanks again for your comments! Have a great weekend.
