I feel better now:) I haven't exactly tried to slow her down...I just haven't been giving her anything extra to do at home. She is, however, still finding her own ways of learning more on her own. But I see now that she probably does need the structure from me. There are probably some concepts from Kindergarten that may be easy for her but she still needs to at least be exposed to so that she has seen it somewhere. I think I will start by going through the report card and maybe work with the teacher to get her through the Kindergarten work first...which will probably take a couple of weeks:)Then I will just move from there and see what she does and doesn't know/understand.
Her Kindergarten is 6 hours a day. I would love to home school but would only be able to teach her after work which would mean that the time we have together would almost always be devoted to school work. She probably wouldn't have a problem with that and we could probably still include fun outside activities. Come to think of it...she would probably love it. But I wouldn't know what to do with her during the hours I am at work. I hate for her to sit there and be bored all day in class. She has started to send work home that is completely wrong. When I asked her about it she said that she is trying to just get it done fast so she can go to science center. I gave her some workbooks pages that were similar the other night and she literally just scratched lines across it (it was a matching exercise) and said "Done." I asked why she hadn't even looked at the paper and why she was okay with all of them being wrong. She said, "My teacher still gives me smiley faces." So she has already learned that she gets approval whether she does the work right or wrong. I have been working with her explaining that she has to do her best work even if she thinks it is boring because the teacher won't know how to help her if the teacher thinks that she doesn't understand the assignment.
Her response to death has mostly bothered me because she is really only able to talk to adults about it. The other children she knows, even the older ones, are very uncomfortable or even clueless about what she is talking about. Her humor has gone up a notch though...i think she has learned to laugh things off or to make jokes when she is uncomfortable. They are usually pretty good ones:)
Yes, I would like to still start a school. I am not currently in classes, however. I made it almost through my sophomore year. I have two classes to take to hit the middle ground. But I am having to focus on working to make money right now.
But I will definitely try all the advice about math and reading and even pushing to get what she needs at school. It can just become overwhelming sometimes. Sometimes I feel like my life has started to revolve around trying to make sure she doesn't get in a bad spot. I guess what I am saying is that it always feels like we are close to toppling over and there isn't much support outside of our 3 person family. Other people see her ability but seem afraid to try to help her in any way or even talk about it. Her other family members let her get by with very little because she has learned how to manipulate very well. While I am at home trying to get her to sound out words when she looks at books her grandparents tell her she can just make up words and that she doesn't have to sound them out if its too hard. Which, too hard isn't something she knows. Usually if it would be too hard for someone else it is a challenge for her that she seeks out. But she also wants to appear to know everything. So when reading aloud she wants to be fluid and having to sound out words just doesn't work:)Maybe the feeling isn't so much a toppling over feeling but a feeling of running around in circles blindly:) I don't know why I worry though. I do the same thing...my actions and conversations probably appear to me chaotic to everyone else. But I get by because of the outcomes I arrive at. People typically get worried when they first hire me or start talking to me...then when they get to know me they start to ask how I do it all without thinking. Maybe that is also the reason I do worry...I haven't exactly had the easiest time getting by in life. Every time I get close to having security...things fall apart. I get worried of failing or getting my hopes up for nothing and then I let myself down. I guess I just don't want her to be my age trying to figure out how to pay bills on time or do all the normal everyday things. I get crazy looks from her teacher because I have brought up that I want my daughter to get help so that she doesn't form bad habits that will cause problems for her later in life...but it is the truth. By the time I was in second grade I had already figured out the system. I never had to try again, unless I just waited until the very last minute to turn something in. Which I did all the time just to liven things up a bit. But by 2nd grade...I was two people at school. I was a robot who spit out work for my teachers quickly and went through all the motions...but inside I had dreams and many many thoughts and ideas. When I got home I came alive and put all that inner energy to work. Then by high school I got angry and tired of it all and just gave up completely. Now I am almost 30 and feel like I have dug a whole that I will not soon escape. I just want my daughter to never go through any of that...even if she ends up in college at 10 years old. If she wants to be an astronaut-author-dancer-painter....than I want to let her dreams change and grow right along with her. Many of our Founding Fathers pursued and excelled in multiple fields....why can't we?
