Making a note of when you make mistakes--and that it's no big deal--is also a good idea. You want to drive home to her that she doesn't have to be perfect to be loved. She doesn't have to be perfect to be who she is.
I know that by 9, I had already LONG AGO internalized that I had to be perfect to be worth anything. You want to work against that at every turn.
I saw a presentation on perfectionism by one of the guys from SENG, and he recommended working with the teacher to assign a perfectionist to do the worst job she could possibly do on an assignment, to try to fail! He said that usually about the worst they can manage is a B, and they realize how truly difficult it is to fail, and they get over it a little bit.
That struck me, because I know that I could not have done this when I was in school. It would have been virtually impossible for me to try to fail, especially the older I got. That tells me that I really needed something like that!
Another thought: is she in a sport or taking music lessons that don't come easily for her? This is a good way to challenge a child and teach resiliance. Many here swear by music lessons!
