I always hate to think of things like this in terms of "tactics"; relationships with kids should never conceived of as a battle. Is it possible your son is trying to use emotional attacks to manipulate you? Yes - but then you have to ask the question, "Why would he want/need to?" Surely it's not normal for a child to feel the need to do something so cold-hearted and extreme. And I would doubt this is what's going on anyway, given what you said about his breaking down and worrying that he will alienate his family. Whatever is going on in his mind - whether there's intent behind his behavior or not - it sounds to me very much like the basis of it all is stress. It may well be that your son is feeling stress at school but has decided to give up the fight because of previous bad experiences - so the anger is coming out at home.
