Cricket, don't wait too long to have that talk! Not that this applies to your child, when my niece attended 7th grade sex ed in Ft. Collins, she observed that the vast majority of kids who were experimenting with sex were also the kids whose parents opted them out of sex ed.
She and I have talked. I've talked with dd10 as well. It's an ongoing conversation, but I must admit that we haven't discussed anal sex!
I suspect that the kids whose parents opted them out here and who are experimenting, as you mention, may be from homes where the parents opted them out of the class due to religious beliefs. We have a pretty large core of fundamentalist Christians around here. Some of the kids are taught nothing but abstinence. As I recall from grad school (I majored in Public Health), the abstinence only education that focuses on scare tactics tends to create more teen pregnancies b/c it doesn't reduce kids having sex, it just reduces them using protection when they do.
We aren't particularly religious and I wouldn't opt out of a program due to the hope that dds will wait until marriage. I have expressed to them that I don't want them having sex in their early/mid teens, but that they need to talk with me if they are considering it so we can discuss birth control. (I've also let them know that the family tends toward fertility as I was on birth control both times I got pg! and that a pregnancy isn't the only "bad" outcome of sex.)
Point being, we are talking. I just want to be able to talk privately which is a better fit for dd12's personality at least. She was really embarrassed by the concept of a male teacher she didn't know talking with them and really bothered by the co-ed part of it b/c the boys were just joking and laughing.
Sorry to derail -- back to your regularly scheduled conversation!
