Ugh! That is so frustrating. I know, because my daughter (age 6) does it all the time, too. She's done it for quite a while and frankly, I have no solutions to offer you. All I can do is commiserate and say, "Hang in there!"
When Boo was very young her abilities re: academics were such that she often was the subject of various comments. Often surprise that she could do something, and sadly, just as often remarks about how she must have been "pushed", or how "freakish" she was. Then she started to really notice the age ranges on games and workbooks. Shortly after that, when asked something that she already knew, she'd respond, "I don't know that, yet, ask me when I'm four". She was almost three at the time and was confused about the negative comments she received regarding her abilities.
Then we enrolled her in preschool. I'm still kicking myself! It was a non-academic school. So I figured, "Great! She'll just play with the other kids!" Since, she's my first, I didn't know a lot about how three-year-olds play. I figured they'd all be into Magic Tree House Books, and Upwords, and strategy games and writing and directing their own plays. Wrong!
Boo suddenly had this intense *need* to research "course of study" and child development information on the internet. More and more she resorted to "kids my age don't know/do that" and "I'm not old enough to play that" and "kids my age are into X and not Y". She began to drastically alter her behavior. Things she loved like games were suddenly shirked; she claimed she didn't understand them. Books she loved, small chapter books - Henry and Mudge, Frog and Toad, Magic Tree House, beautiful picture books, gave way to BOB Books and ABC board books, sentences became shorter and more rudimentary, "Wow! Did you see that squirrel with the big busy tail and bright eyes! He's so silly scampering about like that" became, "Swirl silly!"
She, also, became interested in fashion and barbie/fashion dolls and things that were "cool". And on it went.
At first, I thought she was simply trying to find her footing. Noticing what the other children were into and immersing herself in that "culture". She cried at first going to preschool, I thought it was because she wasn't used to it. But then the tears stopped. What I thought was a sign that she was adjusting was really resignation on her part. She gave up, and I didn't know it!
Finally, one day I noticed sand in her hair when I picked her up from school. She'd always been a chatty kid, but was generally quiet when I picked her up. I thought she was just tired and pensive from a busy day. It turns out that she was being bullied - in PRESCHOOL, three and four-year-olds! She'd been in school for months, I'd gone and observed via a one-way mirror from time to time (admittedly only a few minutes here and there), and never noticed anything amiss. This was the day before parent/teacher conferences.
At the conference, I told the teacher about what I had found. She admitted to "noticing tension" but not thinking it was a "big deal". She also said that it was clear that Boo knew all the curricula for the rest of the year and was beyond the most advanced curricula for the school. (The school went through Kindergarten.) I asked what would be done about the bullying. The answer was that the teacher would just "keep an eye on it". That didn't exactly warm my heart. There was no discussion of trying to separate the kids (a group of about 5 girls that harassed my daughter) and my daughter or *any*thing. Regarding the curricula, I was told "she'll just have to learn to be bored". (That is a *direct* quote!)
Mizzou,
You described our experience with our first attempt at preschool. We decided to put DD in a social preschool using the same logic you discussed and we witnessed the same exact issues. We dealt with 2 to 3 word sentences when the child's speech was equivalent to teenagers. She also would complain about being too young to do things she was able to do before age 1. Thank goodness we didn't ride it out but pulled her after 2 months.
We placed her in an Immersion program which is academically 2 years ahead of the public schools which means she started with Kindergarten curriculum at age 3. It really was a wake up call because DD was definitely more advanced than Kindergarten but the fact that she had to learn it all in Spanish gave us a cushion while she adjusted.
If I can give our experience a positive spin it is that we quickly learned that DD's personality is the type that will go underground and thanks to our social preschool experience we are able to see the signs and work on it. DD is a shy little girl and still doesn't fully show her abilities, but the teachers at her school are always talking about how intelligent she is. Sometimes I want to say: If only you knew just how intelligent she really is. <Sigh> Perhaps one day she will fully accept that it's fine to be a little different and feel comfortable with letting her teachers in on her abilities.
