I dated much older girls through high school and college.

There was a big difference between 1-3 years and 4-6 years difference. A huge difference.

Most of the older women were much more worldly than I was and they wanted some things I was not emotionally prepared to do nor could really understand.

I was intellectually mature and socially poised, but I was still a boy inside until I was 19.( When I look back, I have to laugh at some those moments!! )

Fortunately, they were stable, wonderful women. It would have been easy for them to manipulate me, but that never occurred. But that does not mean it won't here.

On the surface of it, the age difference is a red flag. She should know and have boundaries. She also entered into an engagement she was not ready for. Another indicator she does not have boundaries. And a five hour commute? That seems rather obsessive. And then there is the rebound aspect. I also wonder if she has any female friends as they would be all over her.

The fact she "tried to kiss" him (rather than "Mom, we made-out.") means he is still growing up and is not ready for this. If he was somewhat prepared for this, he'd have dated several girls already as he would have sought them out due to his own internal longing.

Then there is the Statutory aspect. Some jurisdictions take a very dim view of this. Most of the states in the NE are 16, but a few are 17 and a few are 18. One car trip and one traffic stop and one typical NYC cop and you've got a boy in love with a woman in jail who is now a future registered sex offender. The latter fact will ruin her life forever. She is at the greatest risk here - again she is not able to judge risks.

For individual protection, they just need to agree to be friends.

In the end, if you had to, you could have your lawyer draft a letter to her indicating the statutory aspects, or you could talk to her. You need to keep in mind that anyone else you talk to about this could take it to the police later so you may want to be careful whom you consult with.

Last edited by Austin; 09/21/10 02:24 PM.