My 16 year old son is a junior at an Ivy League school. He started taking college classes when he was 12 and he enrolled as a full time student at a local private college when he was 14. He has been around college students for the past four years and so he is quiet comfortable around them. The college students seem very comfortable around him, also. Evidence of this is they take him out to dinner, study with him, go dancing with him, some of his local friends have traveled to his new college to visit him, etc. The girls in particular, really seem to like him. He can often be found in the middle of a group of girls studying; there are many high five's given to him from his professors and male students.
Up until recently, my son took all this in good stride. But last April, he met a female senior, and the two of them hit it off instantly. I was quiet aware she was in a different category in my son's eyes than the other girls. At first, I wasn't too concerned because she was a senior and therefore was soon to be graduating, she was engaged, and my son was headed out of state to a new college. I also figured since she was 23, I didn't have anything to worry about. What 23 year old woman would find a 16 year old boy attractive?
Well things changed fast. She started spending all her time with my son, and if they weren't physically together, they were texting each other. They were holding hands and snuggling together, even in front of my husband and me. Soon she broke off her engagement and though she said she understood they were just friends, she tried to kiss my son. She is now traveling 5 hours each way to visit him at school.
Obviously, my concern is her age. Yet, in every other circumstance in life, my son is light years ahead of his same-aged peers. Should I treat him like an average 16 year old here? Or should I treat him as a college student? He is a really good kid. He talks to me about so many issues and he really seems to have his head on straight. I always knew his first girlfriend would be a college student, but I figured an 18 or 19 year old. This woman, though delightful, is a college graduate. I am not sure how to handle this. I am inclined to let him make his own decisions, but when I think of my younger daughter dating an older guy, I know I would threaten to call the police. Is this different because of his unique circumstances?
