That sounds like what has been happening to me lately and my last job was an executive assistant. I used to have plans and contingency plans. I was always on time. My ability to prepare for things that might happen made me a more valuable employee. I just read this from my last appraisal the year before my son was born and I had to quit my job: "these tasks require enormous concentration and organization. Mistakes can result in the loss of federal and state dollars." My boss wrote "it is a difficult and time-consuming task with little margin of error." She said I did a tremendous job. She also said I "prioritized my time well."
If anyone "should" be able to handle my life it's me or the old me anyway. What happened? I had too many things happen at once. Too many things dumped in my lap. There is no way to really make plans now because too many things are beyond my control. It is a horrible feeling. There is no safety net and I can't get that out of my mind. There are solutions, but none of them seem like good ones so it is a choice between bad and less bad and I change my mind daily on which is the least bad so I am stuck with these thoughts swirling in my mind and not getting anywhere when I need to be even more focused and organized than I ever was because I need to homeschool my twice exceptional son.
I don't think I'm an Aspie, but I was and still am a very sensitive introvert. It really bothers me when I can't do a good job at whatever I am doing and I feel like a failure when I just shut down. Having a husband annoyed with me would absolutely make things worse. My husband, a former first sergeant and now a manager, did not seem to understand what was happening to me when my mother got sick. He just saw that I was home all day and with all that time I should have been able to handle everything with no problem and his remarks sometimes caused me to shut down, but he has become more understanding in the last few years and it helps.
My son doesn't get upset about changes in plans because our plans usually change due to circumstances beyond our control. He is used to it. If we are late to something like acting class for a reason that we don't want to tell anyone about, my verbally gifted son can deal with the questions without really telling them anything by making a joke or comment about something else to get their attention off of him and people don't get mad at him for being late. I just get stressed about it and can't think of anything to say except "Sorry I'm late" which makes me look like I just don't manage time well.
