What did I do wrong? ...
None of these things bothered me, because it was just him. ...
A child who brought joy, smiles, and love every where he went? If those are signs of anything, I think the world then needs more of them.
His written work is non-existent, he uses a really weird grip that the OT said is now "locked-in".
I am not quite sure how to phrase my questions, other than why? Did I do something or not do something?
I am traumatized by what happened at the middle school to him, he is now supposed to go to another middle school into another ED classroom, and I just can't do it. I am looking into homeschooling him.
But I also think something else is wrong? Why would his working memory and processing speed be so low, and why is he reverting in behavior and coping skills? Is this going to happen to my other two boys?
I am severe ADHD (GATE in grade school) myself. Did I somehow cause this? Was I ignoring the signs when he was younger?
Emmy V!
Welcome!
I was so touched reading your post - your descriptions of your son and how you treasure him brought tears to my eyes. I wish for every child to be so noticed and treasured.
I don't think having average Processing Speed, or Working Memory is the sign of something wrong - just something to take into account as you plan for his education.
Is it your fault? Oh no! If you were a different person, you would have made different choices, but you would have had different weaknesses as well. I think that one of the gifts of ADHD is a fresh view of the world and the ability to really enjoy to small pleasures of parenting. We have to sort of face that those of us who see the world differently, choose partners who see the world differently and have kids who see the world differently, most of the time.
I also think that part of being unique is recognizing our uniqueness and recuriting others who have more mainstream viewpoints to be part of our support team - as long as they have genuine love to share with their mainstream wisdom. We have so much to offer - why not recieve as well?
As far as the 'locked - in pencil grip' - I would not nescessarily believe that it can't be changed, although keyboarding will probably allow much more freedom of expression.
It is sad that the world isn't offering some help with your son's education though. I have faith that the more you post, the more you put your mind to all the possiblities, and the more you learn through trial and error, the better fit school situation you will find for your children. I really believe that a Higher Power created all of us for our own purpose - and diversity is one of the blessings to help us each have our own purpose. We aren't single cell organisims - splitting identically time after time until a local place is filled with identical daughter cells.
Love and More Love,
Grinity
