Artana, I was given the book 1,2,3 Magic and it does appear cold. I don't think it is a bad thing, it is more of trying to teach the parent to remain unemotional and calm to prevent escalation. My DS (ASD also) and I did use it, but he figured out he had 3 chances before consequences, which is way too many chances for him!!! We stick with what we learned in ABA that one warning is given stating what the consequences will be if the behavior is repeated and then absolutely always following through.
Again, agreeing with Dee, it sounds like you need to request an FBA at your IEP meeting. (btw, 1 chair kicking incident is nothing...we had a double desk flip)
Nan
