She needs to improve on doing quick and short assignments. Dd confided later that she simply can't do that. We discussed doing the assignment quickly and minimally so she can move on to what she wants, and she said it was too hard to do something and not give it her all.
You've got quite a combination of challenges between your two kids at the same school.
As to your daughter's desired depth on assignments, I'd love to swap an ounce or two of my son's "quick & short" for your daughter's intensity. We, too are seeking a balance, but from the other side of things.
Your follow-up email is key to setting expectations -- especially time lines -- and is a valuable tool when things don't go in the direction or at the pace you expected. And by being the first to write such a follow-up, you are in a better position to define terms and clarify any issues -- don't lose track of that email!
You may want to take the leap and request a meeting with the principal. I know the issues relating to your son are a concern, but I'll bet that the principal will keep the two reasonably separated for these purposes. If you don't bring up DS, I expect (hope?) the principal won't either. If she does, it's an easy redirect to the child at hand.
