Zhian and HannahZ, tks so much for sharing. We're not Americans ourselves, so while I don't know what it is like to be American, I do know what the expectations are in an Asian context. I have people (my DS' classmate's mom, for example) telling me how I should bring up my kid - he asks too many questions, he doesn't know how to make friends, etc. Like they presume they can tell me because when I explain why I want DS to do certain things or if I don't sign up for a class because he doesn't want it, that comes across as being too soft with the kid.
Hugs to you guys and thanks for providing deep insight into what my child is possibly feeling. I'm so glad there are teachers like you, Zhian. Hope to meet someone like you soon.
