I have a student in my kindergarten class who's obviously gifted, but in a bit of a strange way. She isn't ahead at all academically, but her giftedness comes across in the way she approaches tasks and everyday interactions. For example, when I was showing her how to play a ring toss game one day, she watched the way I stood and put her feet in exactly the same positions before she threw. Another time, she got hold of my glasses and instead of trying them on like most kids would, she asked me what I saw without them.
Of course, after noticing things like this on virtually a daily basis for a few weeks, I decided to talk to her mother about getting her tested. I asked our principal to have the conversation for me when I realized that the mother's English might not be good enough for her to understand what I was saying. Imagine my surprise when the other day, the principal came back to me and said "So, they know their daughter's gifted, but they don't want her tested because they think that once she gets any idea she's special in any way, she'll become like a princess and start thinking she's better than everyone." (Yes, the "princess" bit is a direct quote from the mother.) My comment was that this is roughly equivalent to saying "Oh yeah, I know my kid's dyslexic, but don't help him!" But the principal told me to let the matter drop so we don't appear "pushy".
I'm used to it being teachers who think that so-called "social needs" (which they think they understand, but almost never do) have to come before intellectual ones, but here I am on the opposite side of the classic situation: I'm a teacher having to deal with a parent who doesn't want us to do anything for her daughter, or even acknowledge her abilities, because "it will be bad for her socially".
Thankfully, I know I can continue to differentiate subtly and challenge this student intellectually, as I've been doing from the start. But it just drives me crazy that a parent can make such a boneheaded decision, one which will possibly cause her daughter serious harm in years to come, and I just have to accept it.
