My 11 year old son once told me that he couldn't just be just be added to a group of kids and expected to make friends when there was "no common denominator" and he thought teachers should already understand that concept.
Most of his friends were 3 and 4 years older (and in musical theater, so they shared a common interest) when he was five and the developmental pediatrician told us it was okay for him to have older friends because he had a higher mental age. Now his best friend, whether he will admit it or not, is his sister who is 18 years older. She went through a bad breakup with her boyfriend of 4 years recently and my son talked her through it and made her laugh through her tears. He knows her favorite songs and can make up a parodies to sing to her when she calls. She does not call to talk to me when she is feeling sad. She always wants to talk to her little brother. He always knows what to say and if he gives her any advice, he does it in a way that makes her laugh.
The Kindergarten teacher my son had in his only year of public schooling was worried that my son would not fit in and I didn't think it was as much of a problem as she did, but then again he picked out the song "Go the Distance" to do as a solo in his musical theater group's next musical revue and there is a line in it that says "I would go most anywhere to feel like I belong."
I also want to say that I think having good social skills in school was not such a good thing for my daughter and I can't help but think about this when I hear teachers talk about how important social skills are. My daughter developed excellent social skills as a cheerleader and had lots and lots of friends, but she would not or could no focus on academics after she entered those wonderful social years. She had read early, but not as early as her younger brother, made good grades, could color in the lines and draw beautifully (so important in our public schools here) and won awards for math and reading in elementary and made good grades but when she went to middle school and started cheerleading, school just wasn't important to her any more.
