I have 3 sons, one was born with autism (the oldest), and two who are not autistic. My middle one is HG+ (probably at least EG) and his needs were neglected while we ran a 50 hour a week intensive program for 6 years in our home for oldest ds. Youngest son is now 8, and he is the wiggly type, and also gifted but not as strikingly so as middle son. My older two sons are in high school and the youngest is in 3rd grade, and honestly I am shocked at how many kids are being "evaluated" for ADHD and related disorders. Last year my youngest attended a private school where MORE THAN HALF the boys were sent by the teachers for evals by second grade. Some people are going to get upset at me for this -- but here in NYC I blame it in part on therapies that are not effective (not even for kids with REAL problems like autism and/or REAL adhd). There are so many people pushing these therapies (mostly "sensory" programs) and there is NO SCIENCE supporting these programs. The kids do not get better, but rather they get a message they have a problem and "can't be expected to behave" -- at least that was what we saw at our old school. I know all about ineffective therapies because we wasted 3 years doing the recommended programs for my oldest, and he made no gains whatsoever. At age 5 his language had not improved, he was in diapers, he had made NO GAINS. I then quit everything I was doing and ran a 50 hour a week program out of my house, and my oldest began learning very rapidly. What is interesting though is along the way, as this oldest child improved, we were directed by psychologists to move him into new school and social situations and NOT TELL how severe he had been earlier. We were told by these psychologists that the labels could hold him back, so as soon as he could "pass" as not autistic we started him in school with his younger brother, without telling. GIven that experience (trying to get oldest to "pass" without labels so people would expect more from him), I am really amazed at how lightly people take labeling their kids who really may not have any real problem. I am not talking about clear cases of disability, but the situations where parents are sent for evals for their kid in a classroom where the parents (should) know that more than half the boys have ALSO been sent for the same evals. What was especially interesting at that school (ds attended last year) -- the kids were all well-behaved in preschool there, and had no problems. Only when the kids reached lower school, suddenly expectations were SO different (group meeting time on the rug for one hour?) and the teachers and everyone trying to get all the boys treated for "upper body weakness" and "sensory problems" and whatnot, and all of a sudden, you have a large number of "diagnosed" kids. In the case of my son's classroom last year, I think the quality of the teaching was awful, and my son and many others were simply bored, and did not have the maturity to handle it perfectly. The great thing about last year is parents DID end up comparing notes, and ultimately parents of SIX of the eleven boys in the class opted not to renew their contracts for this year. We are SO happy to be out of there.
