I am surprised Wyldkat. DS was in a similar early intervention program (under 3 years). It operates on grants/gov't here and is of no cost to the parents. They offered physical, occupational, speech therapy, also playgroups to help work on certain skills etc. along with parent support groups that happened during play groups. They accepted DS and it was there that he was first diagnosed with sensory integration disorder.
Perhaps it is because I live in a more rural area and therefore there are less children needing services so it is easier to get into the system.
I think the camera idea is great. Wolf and Bear are lucky that they have you to advocate for them in their strengths and challenges. If you get some tantrum video I would retry the Early Start as the program really does have a lot to offer - at least they do around here.
Public schools here begin offering services at age 3 in the form of a pre-school program that takes an equal group of children needing services along with other kids. They also provide speech, physical and OT if necessary.
What does your ped. say about all of this? Keep looking for help and don't forget to find support and help for yourself as well.
