I think that this goes straight to the heart of what is FAIR treatment. If your DS and DD are old enough, you can have that discussion with them. Is FAIR treating everyone exactly the same? Or is it doing the right thing for each child because of his or her own unique needs and wants? If they are old enough, they will understand this. If your DD is happy at school, and doesn't want to homeschool, then I suspect she would come to accept it. Especially if you show her what is actually involved. Being homeschooled doesn't mean you get to watch TV all day, although that's what many kids assume.
Not sure if any of this is helpful. I homeschool DD, but not DS, but I suspect our situations are not comparable as we have a 5-year age gap and I will probably homeschool both at some point in the future.
