My DH and I have a rule that we don't 'over rule' each other and try to present a united front. We aren't perfect, but we try.
Us too!
Kids are master manipulators. You have to present a united front or they will conquer and divide.
Yep, we do this too. A few tips to make it easier:
1. Check in with each other. If you and the kid are alone and you tell the kid it's okay to have a cookie, then go tell your spouse what you did so spouse doesn't give a cookie too. Same thing goes for things you say "no" to - our DS is usually pretty good at not asking parent #2 for what parent #1 just refused, but it helps everyone if parent #2 already knows before the kid comes asking.
2. If you disagree, pull your spouse aside to discuss it. Don't contradict your spouse in front of the kid. In fact, I think it's quite beneficial to have the kid witness this scenario, in which one parent calls the other away, and a few minutes later both parents return and tell the kid "we've discussed the situation and have come to a decision together on how we're going to handle this."
3. Ease up and be flexible. You will never do everything exactly the way your spouse would want it done, nor will your spouse do everything your way. There is no way a couple could list every possible situation and the agreed response to it; the best you can do is find agreement on broad-brush topics (like the TV Policy or Snack Policy or Allowance/Chores Policy) and do your best to make decisions on your feet accordingly. And, in my opinion, sometimes it's better to let the other parent break a rule now and then rather than adhere rigidly to the Master Plan, if only just to keep the peace.
Hope that helps a little.
