Thank you all for your helpful response. Cathy, I was sad to hear about your child's initial experience in kindergarten. It makes me so mad to hear about insensitive teachers like that. I will definitely have a talk with the K teachers before making the final decision. I'm sure you can all relate, but DS is often misunderstood, even by well-meaning adults. If people don't go out of their way to listen to him, he just sounds very odd or intimidating. A year ago when he was just starting to get interested the solar system, his babysitter said, "do you know which planet man has ever landed on?" (eager to teach him something new) DS: "...no, you tell me." babysitter: "the moon!" DS: "The moon is a planet???" The babysitter was confused and embarrassed. That's when he was only two!
Dottie, at the end of my conversation with the principal, I said, if his testing indicates he is ready for K, we will try that first and if it does not work out, we will move him down to pre-K. It would be wonderful if DS adjusts as yours did. Your kid's personality probably has a lot to do with his success.
Trinity, yes, I'm an introvert myself and I believe I understand DS better than anyone else. DS takes after me in almost every way, except he is more extreme: he is smarter and more socially oblivious. Maybe it's because he is a boy. He seems perfectly comfortable with being so different.
I'm willing to travel to get him tested. Do you have recommendations? We live in Chicago, not far from Northwestern. Their Center for Talent Development offers testing, but it doesn't sound comprehensive. They only do achievement testing, no IQ testing and no assessment of psychosocial adjustment. Will it be enough?
To answer your questions: no, he doesn't have any friends who are his mental age. I am always on the lookout but have not found anyone similar to my child in intelligence and temperament. I have a friend whose daughter is two years older and profoundly gifted. They had some interactions that were very encouraging to me. They would talk about the solar system, skip count together, tell each other stories. I almost wanted to cry watching my kid appear so "normal" in interacting with another child. Unfortunately, she does not live here and also she is an extreme extrovert, which can stress out DS if together with her too long. Probably, the kids he gets along best with are his 2 year old brother and cousins who are much older (7-11 yrs). He enjoys adults who really listen to him and engage him in conversations that are stimulating. You know, adults usually don't snatch his toys away, scribble on his paper, or beat him with a stick pretending to be Superman, etc. Is there a way to meet other gifted children in my area, perhaps through this forum? Do you happen to know of anyone in the Chicago area who might be a good fit for DS? Do I sound as desperate as I feel?
The reason for wanting to enroll him in preschool is rather selfish. DS is very demanding and is hard to bring along on errands, etc. I'm pregnant now and the thought of three small children at home is overwhelming. If he would enjoy going to preschool a couple hours a day, I would certainly enjoy having a break from him. However, if school does not work out at this point, I am more than willing to keep him at home another year. Like you mentioned though, I'm sure some people (like my in-laws) will assume it's my own "seperation anxiety" that's holding him back. They all have wonderfully outgoing, normally developing kids who can't wait to go to school. Oh, well... I'll just have to deal with it if it comes to that.
Thank you for your thoughts. Please feel free to share more of your experiences and resources, like testing opportunities you like and the type of schools that worked well for your kids, and local support groups for kids like mine.
JR
