I'm new here. I have been reading your posts for over a year now and have enjoyed and greatly benefited from your stories and wisdom. I decided to join because I'm facing an issue that I think some of you would be able to sympathize with and hopefully offer some advice. My DS3 will be turning 4 in Feb. We toured a couple of preschools this week and have found a school we all like. The issue is, my DS is extremely introverted and also inflexible about his likes and dislikes. He loves intellectually stimulating exercises that he can do alone like workbooks and puzzles (his reading and math are at 2nd grade level), but shuts down when there are group activities like singing and dancing. If such activities go on long enough, he can get disruptive out of boredom (e.g., screaming, throwing things, I'm embarrassed to admit). Or if, God forbid, somebody were to try to get him involved, he could get even more unpleasant. He is a gentle soul and has never hurt anyone in his life (he really is very sweet), but when other children get into his private space or take his things away, he gets extremely outraged and takes forever to calm down. He has never shown much interest in other children and seems to prefer to play alone. I used to worry about the possibility of Asperger's, but I don't think so now. At least, I don't think he is necessarily delayed socially. I think that's just the way he is. He is just an extreme introvert with interests that his age peers usually don't share. And he is fine with that, at least at this age.

I had a conversation with the principal of the preschool we like about the possibility of skipping preschool and enrolling him in kindergarten at age 4, considering his interest in more academic things and disinterest in social/group activities. She had never had anyone do that in her 30 years of experience (which really surprised me), but is willing to make an exception in my DS's case as long as he gets evaluated and the tester recommends placing him in kindergarten. I don't know if it's a good idea but I think I owe it to my son to give it a full consideration. I just want him to be happy and have an enjoyable first experience with school. My husband thinks we should put him in preschool. His argument is, we should encourage him to learn to get along with children his age even if they're different from him and learn to tolerate activities that he is initially not interested in; that it is probably the most important lesson to learn in school at this age. Also, it's not like he is going to be with his intellectual peers in kindergarten anyway; afterall, in kindergarten they are covering materials that he had mastered before he even turned two. Of course I agree with him, but I'm not convinced it's the best thing for my son. I feel really ambivalent.

Do any of you have experience with placing your child in kindergarten at age 4? If so, can you share your experience? What kinds of thoughts and facts were influential in your final decision? What kind of testing did you obtain? Is your child happy now?

Sorry for writing a novel here. I'm sure my future posts won't be as lengthy! OK, I'm ready for your advice!

Last edited by junior; 11/29/07 10:46 PM.