Hi Tory,
My son got his gradeskip at age 10,to 6th after a month of 5th, and after all the stories about accelerated kids 'living happily ever after' I was quite taken aback that he 'took to his gradeskip like a mole to sunshine!'
My son hated being academically challenged after 5 years of coasting! He lied and said that he didn't have homework when he really did. He wasn't any more organized than a kid his age would be expected to be, certianly not enough for his grade. He was in a 'high output' environment. He also missed the first month of school, when all the kids started making friends, and all the teachers introduced themselves and their systems - for us, 6th grade starts middle school and multiple teachers. When the teachers told him he was wrong, he cried, or told them that they were wrong. It was rough. We sat through many meetings. We calmly explained that schools can do much harm by not giving children appropriate challenge and that we thought that it was terrific that the teachers were challenging him now, and that he was just going to need a while to get used to the new way of life.
Having said all that, we all agree at our house that the gradeskip was a good thing, a lifesaver. Being in a situation of 'enforced underachievement' for many years at school does damage that can really only be seen when the proper level of challenge is seen.
Your son does have a bottleneck in his processing speed. This means that he will be slow - especially in the begining of the year - at getting his seatwork done. Teaching him to type as soon as possible, in a relaxed but determined way will level the playing field a bit. Slow doesn't mean dumb, but lots of people think so. 3 hours of homework per week is on the high side, but probably ok, even with the extra from the daytime added to that. I wouldn't encourage him to give up his lunch, as the social side of things is so important. An hour a night is a drag, but it's doable, and soon, very soon, he will start to be familiar with the pattern of the tasks and then he will pick up speed.
Don't let the teacher's attitude sour this experience. Maybe the gifted coordinator will come to the rescue. If not, start a campagne to kill her with kindness. Let her know every single week how much he loves her and loves being in her class, what a wonder it is for him to love learning. This will work, if you can force yourself to do it. Be detailed and specific, "DS had us all fasinated during dinner wednesday night with details of your lesson on penguins - I'm so relieved to see joy on his face when he talks about school."
As for her predicitions of failure,
a) be glad it's now while he's young enough to get plenty of help from you, and he'll have plenty of time to catch up to his intellectual side
b) you can always transfer him back to his regular school with the skip in place if he can successfully finish up the year here
c) if she is really mean to him in front of the other kids,then perhaps he can stay in the same grade and get a new teacher?
You may have to act as your child's 'executive secretary' for a while while he learns organizational skills. I know it's not optimal, and could easily lead down a path of dependency, but our kids have unusual needs and sometimes you have to make a strange situation fit. Donna Goldberg's book on organizational skills is terrific, and there are many other good books for you to read, and then teach him in small bites.
He will improve. He probably will even catch up. With his processing speed bottleneck, he might not ever quite catch up, but even if that's so, he still is learning and learning to work hard. He's enjoying school. He is years and years from having a 'permanent record.' He can always take a Gap year between high school and college, or between middle and high school if maturity is really a continuing issue. Meet his needs now. In the future you will figure something else out. You have a lot to like about your current situation.
Sorry about the sucker punch the teacher pulled, but good for you for following up and getting to know it now!
Love and More Love,
Grinity
